Good morning, Visitor #20,000!

Uh oh, if the number gets much higher I'm going to start confusing it with how many times I've tried to quit drinking.

Or how many nights I should have gone to sleep but stayed up ridiculously late for absolutely no reason.

Or how many homework assignments I haven't done.

Or how many pens I've lost somewhere in my room.

Or times I've said something trying to be funny and immediately regretted it.

Or how many times I've thought that things just couldn't get any worse and then they did.

And how many times I've realized "Ev'ry ting's gonna be all right/Ev'ry tings gonna be all right/".

But good morning, Visitor #20,000. There are cold ones in the fridge and some jokes in the archives. Please, help yourself.