When in doubt, go to the notebooks.

"Free-writing can be useful. Any writing can be useful, but free-writing is more like a brain stamp. Hack off a slice of frontal lobe, dip it into a pan of ink, and press it firmly against the page."

* * * * *

"Walking down Mill Avenue at 3 am. It's something a haven for transients. Yesterday, Alan and I were walking to one of the bars and I a shirtless kid with a mohawk had asked us for change. I tell him that I will not help him. 'Thanks for laughing at my pain," he says. Alan and I continue on our way.

Now, at 3 am, the street is almost deserted. A huddle of local pan-handlers are talking and laughing on the corner. My path leads me towards them.

'Hey man, let me see your belt!' one calls out. It is the sarcastic mohawk kid. He doesn't seem to recognize me from the day before. I'm not in a hurry, so I walk towards them.

He wants to see the Bruce Lee belt buckle my brother Miguel got for me. He is impressed. 'Where did you get that?'

'It was a present. From my brother.'

'Dude, how much?'

'I don't know how much it cost. It was a present.'

'I'll buy it off you man! I can hook you up!'

'No way. It was a present.'

'But I can hook you up! Imagine how fat I can hook you up!'

I nod. 'I'll imagine.'

His friends laugh, he looks confused, and I continue on my way."

* * * * *

(Written while observing freeway signs in North Carolina:)

"It's sad that my knowledge of historical geography is derived solely from 'Oregon Trail'."

* * * * * *

(Written after someone was talking about how it is easy to write science fiction but more difficult to write realistic fiction.)

"Difficult to write realistic fiction? It's difficult not to write realistic fiction. When you write, you're bound to run into reality at some point."

* * * * * *

I guess that's it for the notes.

My birthday party went very well. I even got some presents. They made me laugh, because, without exception, I was given a book or some type of alcohol.

No, I'm wrong. Lauren H. got me a really cool picture and Mai got me a balloon and Amy got me a ribbon that says "I dress myself" with a picture of a penguin on it. The guys made me this great LOTR card that managed to be artistic and more than a little unsettling (who's hot-pink lipstick was that?)

Everyone ate heartily. The elder Lopezes achieved various states of inebriation and the littlest Lopez achieved new pinnacles of caffeination.

There was much laughter.

Perhaps there are worse things than growing old...

* * * * * *

Maybe a few more notes.

"Music is a kind of geometry, but one of inner space."

"There once was a child so tall
All assumed he would play basketball
But the boy felt jipped
'Cause whenever he tripped
He had so much further to fall"

"I can afford to be wrong."

Extra Credit Assignment!

Find out where my sandals disappeared to last night and win a flan!

Ahem, yes. Well, after re-reading my last post it's flurry of grammatical errors, it occurs to me that I may have been a little drunk.

Ah well, today is a new day.

Everyone is invited over to my house tomorrow for carne asada and margaritas. I'm thinking around 5 in the evening for dinner, but perhaps if you are tired of my mother's home-cooked extravaganzas, you can show up a little later for drinks.

Tomorrow will be a momentous occassion. For the first time in over two years, all five of the Lopez children will be home.

On second thought, you'd better arrive early if you expect to find any alcohol left.

One More Final Exam

What do you call starting to drink at 3 in the afternoon and stopping at 12 am?

A. Vacation
B. A Problem
C. Monday

If you guessed C, you're correct.

The Apology

I haven't been around much. But, I have had good reason.

I've been having the most wonderful, frustrating, euphoric, maddening, sobering, wildest, funniest, cathartic, bitterest, sweetest time of my life.

It's hard to explain.

I feel like a pair of conjoined twins wearing a custom-made straight-jacket. The twins are fond of each other, but each would like to try being on their own for a while. Thus, they jump and strain and gnash their teeth in an attempt to separate themselves.

Each twin holds the mistaken belief that he possesses the only liver, but is reluctant to tell the other.

Worst...metaphor...ever!

Another Year Of Reality To Face?

So...tomorrow is my birthday. I'll be 22 years old. My last birthday found a still-drunk Guillermo stumbling into class to take his final.

My final (the only final I had) is already over.

And the peasants rejoiced! (Yay.)

I'm sure almost everyone is familiar with the little calendars your kindergarten teachers had that would say: Today is...and then have hot or cold or whatever. There is a similar type of calendar that I have seen on people's refrigerators. They say: Today I'm feeling...happy sad hungry loquacious whatever. They're pretty common; even my psychologist had one.

I think if I had one of those right now I'd have to set it to "fear."

I am feeling fear.

It's not that bad, not really. I just haven't felt it in a long time; not in this capacity.

It's the way I'd imagine a rabbits might feel as they streak across a field with no protective foliage.

(Is anyone else picturing a naked rabbit running through a field? "We're going streaking! Woo!")

Yes, well, on that note. I think I'll take a shower and go to bed.