Thursday, May 16, 2019

My poor brain. I've been bombarding it with Youtube videos and music and other distractions. All this passive media is scraping away my grooves, overwriting my surface layer. It's not self-governance I've accomplished; it's just keeping myself unfocused. Can't cause any trouble if I don't think about anything longer than five minutes. I had a brain medication that did much the same thing. I didn't like it.

Have to carve back into myself. Rewrite the habit script. Maybe cause a little trouble. Just a little bit.

What's funny is that I drank for two days in a row, which is unusual for me. That interrupt made me feel a bit depressed. Not unhappy, just feeling the symptoms of depression. It's still connected to a lot of things about myself that I do like. I don't think it has to be, it just kind of is.

Otherwise I'm feeling okay. Walking every day. Losing weight. Getting stronger. Maybe dumber. Not sure. Might be a good time to figure that out.