My poor brain. I've been bombarding it with Youtube videos and music and other distractions. All this passive media is scraping away my grooves, overwriting my surface layer. It's not self-governance I've accomplished; it's just keeping myself unfocused. Can't cause any trouble if I don't think about anything longer than five minutes. I had a brain medication that did much the same thing. I didn't like it.

Have to carve back into myself. Rewrite the habit script. Maybe cause a little trouble. Just a little bit.


What's funny is that I drank for two days in a row, which is unusual for me. That interrupt made me feel a bit depressed. Not unhappy, just feeling the symptoms of depression. It's still connected to a lot of things about myself that I do like. I don't think it has to be, it just kind of is.

Otherwise I'm feeling okay. Walking every day. Losing weight. Getting stronger. Maybe dumber. Not sure. Might be a good time to figure that out.