Saturday, March 13, 2004

And the award for The Blog Most Likely To Make You Get Off Your Ass And Live A Little goes to Andrew S.

Having said that...

I think there is always something more to learn. Never has this been more apparent than as I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

Some of the fun new facts included:

1. Getting impaled will provide temporary discomfort but not hinder your movement

2. Human beings can indeed outrun most types of explosions.

3. Nuclear hand grenades are not only possible, but practical as well.

4. Medics can fix anything.

5. Everyone gets to say at least one line before they die. (The very last word may or may not be cut off.)

6. There is a zone around the main characters that great attention must be paid to: Too far out of this zone equals death, but too far into this zone also equals death. If you're not a main character, you're best bet for survival is to be the friend of the guy who carries the communications radio.

7. Regular missions equal death. Suicide missions do not.

8. Guns don't kill people. Hell, those guns can't seem to kill anything.

9. Asteroids are always a complete surprise to everybody.

10. As a matter of fact, absolutely nobody "would like to know more."

Fun military fact about myself: During our final 3-day field exercise, I volunteered to carry the communications radio on my back. The damn thing weighed about thirty pounds, plus I still had to carry all the rest of my gear.

Why volunteer?

Because I thought it looked cool. The radio had this really long antenna that stuck up out of the top that was supposed to look like a really, really long blade of grass. It would wave madly around everytime I moved.

I thought it was hilarious. I could picture the enemy surveying the terrain...

"See anything suspicious out there?"


"What's that thing moving through the trees?"

"Oh, that's just that really, really long blade of grass going out for a morning stroll."

"And does that seem normal to you?!"

"Well yeah, it's been doing it a lot lately. Why do you ask?"

When we returned from the field exercise, I learned that in every other platoon the person who carried the radio had all their other gear carried by other soldiers.

Because you know, you're not supposed to carry the radio and all the gear; that would just be crazy.

In Luis News:

I stayed with Luis in the hospital most of this morning and up until I had to go to work in the afternoon to give my mom a break to go home and shower and stuff.

The boy is fine.

Everyone has been acting like he's dying or something, which is frankly very annoying. Donaldo is flying down from Georgia to come see him (some Red Cross program that flies soldiers out when their family is ill) so that's a plus.

Luis went in for surgery to seal the opening left by the recent removal of his gastro-intestinal feeding tube.

The surgery went longer than scheduled. The boy is also having difficulty breathing due to some fluid in his lungs.

He's in his own hospital room where he has a DVD player and they brought in a PlayStation 2 for him to play. He can order room service. He has cable television. He has nurses (cute nurses) doting on him.

It's rough, I know.

His treatment is basic: oxygen and pain-killers. The reason he is there is primarily observational.

Oh well, at least my other younger brother will be around for a few days, so that'll be fun. I may even have to have a drink.

Friday, March 12, 2004

Thank The Live-Journalers For This One:

Instructions: Use Google to do an image search of your name.

The first one that comes up will reveal the inner you.

The second image will reveal the way you project yourself.

The third image will reveal a hurricane.

Try it! It worked for me:

The Inner Me

So the "inner me" is a giant beach robot.


The second picture that reveals how I try to project myself is a picture of a hurricane.

The third picture is also a picture of hurricane.

The internet never lies...

I would write more but I'm worn out from talking to a certain pant-less blogger who shall remain nameless.

I guess I could write a little more.

Luis is in the hospital right now. He went in this afternoon for surgery and it didn't go as well as it could have. He's going to stay the night and then he should be back home by tomorrow.

As soon as I got home from work I went down to the hospital to take him his pillow and also a jacket and food for my mom. Just getting there was an adventure in itself. It seems that tonight all the freeways have been either closed or re-routed out of pure spite.

Luis looked a little worn out but otherwise fine. He was glad to have his pillow. I hung out there for a while, watched The Simpsons with him, and then left. My mom is staying there overnight with him right now.

Just like old times.

When Luis was born, he had severe complications. The first year of his life was spent entirely in the hospital. My mom would spend every night with him.

She would be at the hospital all night, come home, make sure the rest of us went off to school like we were supposed to, and then go to work. She would come home, spend the evenings with us, and then go back to the hospital. So it went for that year.

It was pretty rough for everyone, but mostly for her, I think. Luis was barely clinging to life that first year, and she was by his side for all of it.

I know how she must feel.

I often contemplate traveling to a new place and trying to build something there. But I don't think I can. Not yet.

My older brother is 23, Donaldo is already off in the Army, Barbara is 19 now and is still going to school in Mexico. They're ready to be on their own, if they wish.

But not the boy.

It's a puzzling thing. I don't think there is much I could really offer him if I stuck around; nothing I provide now is essential to his upbringing.

But then, who would give him a hard time?

And what about me? Who else is able to infuriate me to no end?

I don't know. I'm going to bed.

Oops, almost forgot to take off my pants.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Meg (the pretty one) made an interesting statement...

"I feel like one day there will be a war between the bloggers...Like LiveJournal vs. Blogspot for entire web dominion."

I'm a little battle-weary, so instead of creating an elaborate storyline involving various types of bloggers jockeying for power, I'll just try to re-tell a story that I read a long time ago.

Long, long ago there was great discord among the creatures of Earth. There were no Men yet to claim absolute rule over Nature. Although there were animals of all kinds and variety, two main factions arose to claim the world as their own:

There were the Birds. Every feathered creature that graced the sky swore allegiance to this faction.

And there were the beasts. All the running, leaping, climbing animals banded together in their cause.

Of course there were still the animals that lived in the sea. There was little contention among them because the sea was so vast. In the event of the slightest contention among neighboring sea creatures, one of them would merely have to swim a short distance away to likely never see the other ever again.

There were attempts by both Beast and Bird to recruit the sea creatures to their side, but there were none that could figure out how to go down and speak to them for any length of time without drowning.

At this point in our story, there was to be a great, final battle between the Birds and the Beasts. Each side was scrambling to assemble its troops. As the day drew near, every animal had chosen their side.

Except one.

There was one odd little animal that had up until this point been overlooked. No one had known quite what to make of him. He certainly flew, there was no doubt about that. He had wings that he loved to wrap around himself for warmth.

But he wasn't quite a Bird. Instead of feathers, he had a soft fur. Instead of a beak, he had a nose. And instead of no ears, and no teeth, he did have ears, and he did have teeth.

He kept to himself, mostly. He loved to go to the tallest tree and hang upside down from the tallest branch all day, just stretching his furry wings and basking in the warm sunlight.

His name was Bat.

Both sides were almost evenly matched and were looking for any advantage. Each sent an ambassador to speak to Bat.

The Birds sent Raven, who flew up to the tallest branch of the tallest tree to speak to Bat.

"Brother," Raven called, "I see by your wings that you are a Bird, albeit a strange one. Come and join us in our battle against the Beasts, that you may revel with us when we are victorious!"

Bat had just been having a pleasant dream involving a Lady-Bat that was whispering sweet nothings into his ear. He was greatly annoyed to wake and find it to be only Raven cawing raucously at him.

"Go away, Raven, and leave me in peace!" Bat yawned, "I am no Bird. I am a Beast!"

Raven cawed scornfully at him and flew back to report this news to the rest of the Birds.

Bat just went right back to his dream.

The Beasts sent O-rang-u-tang to enlist Bat to their ranks. O-rang-u-tang climbed all the way up to the tallest branch of the tallest tree, where he found Bat lost in his dreams.

O-rang-u-tang poked at Bat with his finger to wake him.

This time Bat was dreaming of a Lady-Bat scratching him in that special spot just behind his ear.

So this time he was even more annoyed to wake up and find only O-rang-u-tang rudely poking him with his great, dirty finger.

"Brother," O-rang-u-tang said, "I see by your fur and by your teeth that you are a Beast, albeit a strange one. Come and join us in our battle against the Birds, that you may revel with us when we are victorious!"

"Go away, O-rang-u-tang, do not be so absurd!" Bat yawned, "I am no Beast. I am a Bird!"

O-rang-u-tang hooted disdainfully at him and climbed back down to report this news to the Beasts.

Satisfied that it was safe to dream again, Bat went back to sleep.

The next day was to be the day of the battle. At the final moment, a truce was declared between the Birds and the Beasts, with a declaration being made that each group would rule Air and Land, respectively.

Neither Bird nor Beast was very happy about giving up any power, but neither were they truly sad about avoiding risking their lives in battle.

So instead of a battle, each side held a great celebration.

Bat was woken up by all the commotion and quickly figured out what had happened. Always one for festivities, Bat flew to where the Birds were celebrating. "Brothers!" he said merrily.

The Birds eyed him coldly and made a circle of their backs so that he could not join them. Raven took a moment to say, "Begone from here, Beast! Today is our day of truce, but if we find you in our territory on any day that follows we shall make you suffer the consequences of your decision!"

A bit discouraged, Bat flew to where the Beasts where holding their festival. "Brothers?" he called out hopefully.

The Beasts, too, eyed him coldly and made a circle of their backs so that he could not join them. O-rang-u-tang took a moment to say, "Begone from here, Bird! Today is our day of truce, but if we find you on our territory on any day that follows this we shall make you suffer the consequences of your decision!"

Poor Bat flew on and on, frantically searching for a place on the Earth that was neither the domain of the Birds or of the Beasts.

In a far corner of the world, he found a deep cave. He hid himself inside it all day with his wings wrapped round about him, shivering and dreaming of his branch under the sun.

At night, when Bat was certain that everyone was asleep, he finally came out to search for food.

And so it went.

Now, all bats hide from the world by day and dare come out only by night. Such is the price of a life of dreaming and indecision.

Eh, I'm pretty sure the story went something like that. I could only really remember the gist of it. I don't think it was nearly this long.

Oh well, the extra characters and the bit about the sea creatures should, if nothing else, be enough to keep me from getting sued.

Oh, right, the moral. Um, so whose side would I be on? Blogspot or LiveJournal?

Who's asking?

No, if anything, the fact that I got this idea for a post from Meg's LiveJournal should illustrate that we're all just a bunch of crazies trying to express ourself in a crazy world. We take our ideas when we can get 'em. We're a part of this world, this vast community, and everything that happens here, at least in some small way, affects everybody else.

We try to learn. We post on as we do.

When it comes down to it, the problems of a couple of bloggers like us don't amount to a hill of broken HTML tags in this world.

But if I have an idea and I don't write it, I'm gonna regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of my life.

Now go on, get outta here.

Here's lookin' at you, blog.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Update from the Federal Newsfeed for War Against Crabs

The Federation has been in turmoil following the events surrounding the attempted execution of former-Captain Gurg Frenzy.

The execution itself did not go as smoothly as planned. Instead of politely letting himself be eaten, Gurg Frenzy had leapt onto the Crab's back and rode it around and around the coliseum.

After a few minutes of that the viewers began to lose interest. The order was then given to open fire upon both the crab and it's rider.

Gurg Frenzy yanked mightily on the eyestalks of the beast which he had been using in lieu of reins, causing it to leap into the stands.

Fortunately, no-one actually goes to the coliseum to view the events anymore; not when they can view them live on F.N.W.A.C. in the comfort of their own home.

Gurg Frenzy rode the Giant Crab through the bleachers, out the clearly-marked emergency exit, and off into the sunset.

While the organizers of the event began debating furiously about what to do now that everything had gone awry. They contemplated just proceeding as if nothing had happened, finishing out the rest of the event, refusing to mention it, and hoping that the whole thing would blow over.

After all, that approach had worked so well after Janet Jackson had flashed her breast at the last execution...scrksz


"Hey! Are we on? Sweeeet.

This is Captain Gurg Frenzy broadcasting live from our top-secret base on the coast of Norwegia! Eh...was I supposed to mention our top-secret base or no? No? Oh.

Well, regardless of where we are, here is what's going down. The War Against Crabs is slipping out of the public eye. The Federation has responded to this lack of interest and public pressure by pulling out all the troops from Norwegia and the surrounding territories, including Swedia.

Damn election years.

But the Crabs are still there. Still spawning, feeding, and growing. Now is our only chance to utterly destroy them, or at the very least, set up some sort of Crab-Democracy.

So having narrowly escaped certain consumption by a Giant Crab, I am now going back into the fray. I will not be alone. The rest of the squad is suited up and ready to go (except for that one guy, I'm pretty sure he ain't coming back) and coming along are some new recruits like Corporal Fred E. Bear, Private Wiffle Bat, and Anonymous (and anyone else who signed the petitions; did I forget to mention that they're also draft forms?)

We're about to lay the smack down on some Giant Red King Crab carapace. I-

Hold on, sorry, I have another call...


I'm back. Well, I've just been told that it looks like the Federation is pretty opposed to what we're about to do and is already scrambling to deploy troops to Norwegia with orders eliminate us.

Seems that we have our work cut out for us. Not only are we going to be fighting the Crabs, we're also going to be going up against the people we're trying to protect.

Man, I hate election years.

There is much to prepare, but it feels good to be busy again. If you are interested in joining the campaign against the crab threat, you know how to contact us.

C'mon, do ya wanna live forever?