In the car behind the carnival"
-The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine
This song is painfully beautiful. Also it mentions dogs that love the rain and that makes me happy. Have I mentioned this before?
The speaker is remembering this young friendship and it's over now. He's talking to no one, I think. It's more like a prayer. He's never going to be anything more to this person, and he wishes that they can be together in memory. Their memories of each other are a heaven, with pearly gates, although he's locked out of it. He doesn't want his memories, he wants to be in hers.
The speaker may believe that entering Heaven will take away his sorrow and loss, but I don't think he's ready to let go of it yet. He wants to draw on the walls, things that represent duality at first, boy and girl, sinner and angel. Then he ends on frightened trapeze swingers. People that come together, but if someone doesn't let go of their trapeze and reach out, they will swing away from each other.
It's frightening, letting go.