Friday, September 15, 2006



Today's THING I HAVE NEVER SAID BEFORE:

"I wonder what a whale booty call sounds like? Mmmmwroooooo....mmmmmmwroooooo...."

Wednesday, September 13, 2006



As I rode my bike to work this morning, a little old woman told me to have a great day. I consider myself a person that respects my elders but seldom listens to them, but I figured this was good advice so I took it. I was already in a good mood because I had a piece of peach pie for breakfast.

The woman often walks in the morning and I try to smile and say hi whenever I whiz past. There is a guy named Tim who I've seen riding to work also. He doesn't wear a helmet and always wants to race. I oblige him, and although I am at my fastest when I am late to work, I have yet to beat him. He's pretty spry for a 43 year old. Also, he takes corners like they were nothin'. I am of the motorcycling tradition and when faced with any doubts about the integrity of a riding surface, I ain't stupid enough to try any fast cornering. Not unless I know friction's got my back.

On a related note, greyhounds handle like bicycles. [To any animal lovers out there, I do not say this from personal experience.]

In Sad Panda News, Ya Ya the panda crushed one of her cubs to death during her sleep. Fortunately, nearly half of panda pregnancies result in twins so there's still one left. Chinese officials are joined by the rest of the world in hoping and praying that the baby Ya Ya crushed was the evil twin and not the good one.

There is an odd line in the article in the section that discusses the mating history of Ya Ya and her mate, Ling Ling: "The pandas watched a mating video before breeding."

What?! The article says nothing else about the panda pair's penchant for pornography. I imagine that could be an article in and of itself.