All this family-separation stuff is draining. And then today I learn of Koko the gorilla, of Koko's Kitten fame, has died. Last night I distinctly remember thinking about internet cats, and how the first famous cat I can remember was Koko's kitten. Living cat, I should say; not the Garfields and the Lion-Os.
A talking gorilla was pretty neat also.
I've been working harder lately. Not sure why. Pushing on through my usual break time, skipping the minimal daily writing time I allot myself. I don't know. Maybe catching my stride with these new brain meds. They let me dream, but will they let me express myself? Or is the opposite happening and that I see what I'm trying to express isn't necessary. Maybe I should spend a little time understanding what I'm saying before I say it.
Perhaps it's the weight of all the things I'm not saying. I feel keenly aware of the way the world crushes a person. And how dwelling on it can be mentally crippling. I feel I am facing an army. I feel like I am a good fighter, but I'm not nearly as good as I would need to be if that army attacked. Being a pugnacious brawler is useful against individual opponents, not organized groups.