![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1K__J40CrsVgELn1Z_MIVtRD25f4Onlm3fC3etxWwyfwIqsluCt3_U6IgELftMg-p9FdepllcxJg7Nx-v1k5wBl0YWTp7rFrrRdxww-aq7A2LQALgbhzSYdqkRHt8Jri1YMCSwA/s320/Mattdixon4.jpg)
I wrote the two posts below while I was very drunk. I vaguely remember writing it and laughing at the time. I think it's supposed to be funny? I'll have to ask Jake because he was right there when I wrote it. Wait, he was laughing, too. Maybe it is funny.
Wait, no. It's really not funny at all. It doesn't even make sense unless maybe I got drunk off of fortune cookies. That's the only logical explanation.