Storm surge feelings batter the rocks. I read The Scarlet Ibis by James Hurst and it broke my heart a little. I can see why schools are always teaching it to kids. I doubt they'll feel the impact of it the way many adults will. They haven't been alive long enough, and stories like these draw their weight from the life lived after the failure, the mistake, the world that comes after the one they love has gone.

Each day, another brick. 

A pessimistic optimist might say, "Look on the bright side! If it wasn't this, you'd just be regretting something else you did. Probably you would have made this mistake in some form, at least now it's out of the way and you can try to do better."

Now I'm going to shop for some colorful t-shirts with animals on them. 

"Sometimes I can't believe it/ I'm moving past the feeling" - The Suburbs by Arcade Fire

I enjoy the band, but I hate the mental image of an arcade on fire. I love arcades.

Birthday coming up. I'll be 39 years old. How interesting. I started this blog when? Was I twenty-something? Hilarious. Try the new middle-aged Guillermo, now with 30% less torment! Get yours today!

Overall I feel good. Okay physical shape. Aches and pains, but I've always had those. Sure, now I get them when I haven't been doing anything, but pain is pain. All those motorcycle crashes and impromptu marathons will catch up to a person eventually.

Didn't I mean to learn how to play the banjo at some point? Note to self: find out if anyone makes a banjo video game simulator. Banjo Hero. That's right, I meant to specialize in sad banjo playing. Mournful banjo dirges. Lugubrious plucking of a funny instrument. I like the incongruity. 

I wonder how long I'll live? Just out of curiosity. My life has been great and I've seen such beautiful things and loved (and been loved by!) such wonderful people. There are lots of things I'm sad about, certainly, and I know I've hurt people too. If a person would be happy that I'm dead, then I'm happy for them. Oh and the food! The food has been amazing. 

Maybe it's the combination of my birthday coming up and shaving my dad's head. He and my mom are both over 70. I mean, if I get another 30 years that would be pretty interesting. What the heck would I even do? Read books and troll people on the internet, obviously, but besides that. 

Oh that's right, the banjo.

This is something I enjoy. I forget sometimes. A great deal of time has passed. It doesn't exactly build on itself, but it does interact. Like a kitten playing among ancient ruins.

The bamboo is recovering from where the puppies chewed it, and I am pleased. I like caring for my bamboo. I do worry that this inhospitable soil will not properly nourish it as it grows. I must learn about the soil and what the plants need to thrive, and then give it that.

I walked for a longer period of time yesterday. Not at my full strength, but much closer. Surprising how much a week and a half of taking it easy can slow me down. Sloth must be my natural state. 

This song has robot sounds. "Off You" by The Breeders. I guess they're not really robot sounds, but I immediately thought of robots. 

Fun fact about me: I rescue bees from swimming pools when I can. If I see them struggling in the water, I lift them out and protect them until they are dry enough to fly. While I was at Tiki Oasis AZ 2021, a bee perched on my shoulder as it dried. It gave me an excuse to talk about bees, and how they only sting in self-defense, and to never smash a bee because they release a smell that tells the other bees to sting, and where. 

Wasps are afforded no such protection. Just bees.

Today's post is brought to you by Sugar-Sweetened Flavor Drink #17: Flavor 17 is inspired by what we think lemons and limes tasted like.

There's some short stories I need to read to help Ender with his homework.

"Harrison Bergeron"

"Helen on 86th Street"

"Scarlet Ibis"

"The Necklace"

Not familiar with these stories yet, but I will be. 

My dad asked me to cut his hair, a buzz cut. He's had long, silvery hair for a while and I guess he's tired of it. He is balding a little, but not much. Maybe he just wanted a cooler haircut for the summer. 

I lifted yesterday, and completed a shorter walking workout. Slowly building back up to where I was all of two weeks ago. Bah. This weakness heaps me.

My habits are falling apart. Must repair them. I think. It's also been nice just doing whatever I want. However, the freedom I crave will come as a result of the effort I put in today. So no procrastination. Do the work daily, do whatever I want the rest of the time. Simple.

Plus it's almost my birthday. I'll take a break that day. 

The puppies keep trying to eat the new bamboo plants, so I purchased five puppy pens and placed them around each bamboo clump to protect them. I looked at garden fencing, and the nice metal panels would have cost much more than just getting the puppy pens. And hey, now I have an excuse to get five more puppies.

I did a lot this weekend. Hung out with Bianca, Cobe, and Brian. Also took the twins out for lunch as a thank-you for dog-sitting. Went over to Emma and Chris's on Saturday evening. They were playing Magic: The Gathering (draft tournament) and I enjoyed seeing the neat new mechanics and card art, but I did not play. Still refuse to give any more of my money to the game. I'll just play other people's decks if they want to test them out. Equally fun, and I don't have to blame myself if I lose...it's clearly their deck-building that is wrong. 

I think what initially messed me up in my habit of working out was the server issues with Titanfall 2, my online multiplayer FPS game. It's the fighting that keeps me walking along on my treadmill, and when I kept getting kicked out of matches it was extremely frustrating. In that game, I can lose all by myself, thank you, and I pride myself on never quitting matches. Even when my team is getting pummeled and people start bailing and suddenly it's 2 vs 6, I still fight. 

Harness my inner contrarian powers...