Thursday, July 26, 2007

Today was a good day. Nephew food-throwing was down, naps were up, and mom buying me lunch was at an all-time high for the month of July. If these trends keep up this month should close out strong.

There was a brief spike in subpoenas in the middle of the day but investors were sluggish to respond.

I've decided not too invest in that company that makes the ubiquitous pale-blue shirts that people who have to wear suits throw on whenever they're feeling colorful. In my little brain, I refer to it as "business blue" from its prevalence among business students.

I don't dislike it per se. I can understand the situation in which I'd want to wear something a little different and a little colorful only to be paralyzed by the fear of deviating too far from the business model.

Maybe I just don't understand it. Perhaps I'm projecting my own fear of banality on an innocent garment. After all, who am I to judge someone by their clothes? My idea of the pinnacle of fashion is this shirt:

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

My friend who watched this but wasn't really paying attention asked "Was that a tear of happiness?"

"No," I said. "That was a tear of everything."

Sometimes it takes a kiwi to show us the way. The feeling is one I share, I think, as I look over the edge of another precipice with my goggles perched on my head. Just need to attach a few more trees and I'll be ready.

Monday, July 23, 2007

More stuff I found on old disks.

Random(?) Gurgisms

For travelling, West and North are good. I have never particularly liked South or East.

When someone says something that is very observant and you turn to them and say, "That was very observant," isn't that kind of like saying "Hey, I'm an idiot"?

I love that moment just before you drift off to sleep. The only reason I know I love it is because I have been frequently woken up during that moment so I have been able to remember what I was thinking about. That half-thinking half-dreaming place is where I figure most stuff out.

When very large animals attack me, it isn't funny.

If you ever get the opportunity to known by a completely different name, I say go for it.

Reading things I have written in my "youth" can be a lot like watching old home movies. (How many times have you watched one of those and thought, "Man, I was cool?" Probably not many.)

I do not remember a great deal of my Army training. I do remember that feeling that came with getting up at 4:30 in the morning after 3 hours of sleep, after firing all day on the range, standing at the end of the chow line, marching in the rain in off-green rain slickers, quietly munching on a fig bar from my field rations, watching training video after training video, and while holding your arms out for what seemed like forever. The reason I remember that feeling so well is because as I get older, I experience it from more and more things. I am incapable of describing it. It feels a bit like fading, not away, but losing color and vitality.

Hippopotamuses are great because they look like what they're called.

Is it ironic that people are more likely to tell you the truth when they are angry at you as an attack?

There is no reason I should have to like you.

A true ninja does not keep the enemy guessing. A true ninja keeps the enemy from guessing at all.

Cowboys used to give cocaine to their horses.

Superman is not a hero.

There is a time and place for everything. This is it.


Take food and sleep when you can get it.

Don't try to be too pretty. You don't want people running around thinking they like you when they don't.

Humor people only as long as they humor you.

Know what is news and why it is news. Know what is funny and why it is funny. Everything else should fall into place after that.

"Everything happens for a reason. There is no evidence suggesting that it must be a good one."
I'm sure I must have heard this somewhere. I think it would make a great outgoing message for my voice mail.

I have only heard one argument against evolution that I like: "Why would a cow or a pig evolve into something so delicious?" I had to laugh.

Watch a few music videos without the sound. This is what you look like singing in your car.

I used to be a gymnast. One day, I had some Creatine protein powder in a zip-lock bag that I was about to mix into my Gatorade. My friend Larry was watching me as I took it out of my gym bag. I noticed and offered to let him try it; I said it worked really well. He raised an eyebrow at me, then shrugged and grabbed a handful and rubbed it all over his hands. He ran over to the parallel bars and did a few spins. I guess that he thought my protein powder was hand chalk. He came back and said he didn't really notice any difference. I didn't say anything. Larry doesn't talk to me much anymore. He thinks I'm weird because I drink hand chalk.

Sometimes I make up stories about a guy named Larry. And about being a gymnast.

Death is no longer getting any information.

A lot of facts and conditions are correllary, but are not necessarily cause and effect. Do not be misled.

I think we all know why someone calls you when they're drunk.

The saying "Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes" disturbingly reminds me of the phrase "wide-eyed innocence."

Taking things out of context is like hearing it in another language.

"The ends justify the means." This would be true if anything ever ended.

Better decide on an epitaph now. You can always change it later on, if you want to.

It's okay to be afraid if you have nothing better to do.

If someone shouts, "Who rocks the party that rocks the party?" go ahead and say, "I rock the party that rocks the party!" and then get the hell outta there.

I do not understand why parents name their children after themselves. It isn't very considerate for their spouse. They must not realize how awkward it must be when your child has the same name as someone you've had sex with.

I made a list of all the intelligent things I've ever said in my life and became instantly depressed when I saw how short it became after I crossed off all the ones that had really been said by other people.

Baseball. Good game, although I can't figure out why they would want to record their errors.

Some people complain that they "just can't write." I avoid getting into vehicles with these people.

I often ask myself why I care so much, but without any negative connotation.

Be wary around those whose mouths can function independently of their brain.

To think or not to think; there should be no question.

If you don't have any rhythm, get some.

There is criticism concerning those who read "too much" and do not experience life. I don't think this is accurate. I experience no greater lust and zeal for life than directly after reading a great novel.

I doubt I was happy about being slapped on the butt as soon as I was born by the doctor who delivered me. It's hard to be bitter about that now, though. Especially once I learned about how rough it is being born a giraffe. Those suckers' first taste of life is dropping six feet to the ground. And then they have to walk minutes later. I'll take a slap on the ass anyday. And I do mean anyday.

Art is showing people the world through your eyes, through drawing, words, music, or any other medium of creation for that purpose.

There is a good chance you are being lied to about something, and no one is just going to tell you what that is.

A person must feel unique.

It is not important to look good in the gym. Working out is not pretty. The uglier you get in the gym, the better you look outside of it.

Do the math before you attempt to base a relationship on sex. On average, you'll have sex for about 30 minutes. There are 24 hours in a day, so that's about 1,440 minutes. That comes out to roughly 2% of your day. Even if you have sex 5 times a day that's still only a little over 10%. What are you gonna do with all the rest of that time? I mean, you can only pretend to be asleep for so long.

"He's a war scribe." The man in orange flapped a sleeve in his direction. "See, grey robes with black trim." The youth he pointed out shifted almost imperceptibly, as though he had heard them. That is unlikely, thought Tulley, he's too far away. Tulley shifted his attention back to the man in orange robes, who was still going on. "The war scribes are Decar's. He always brings them wherever there's a chance to glorify himself."
"Leeter, he cannot be a true war scribe of Merrik. There are none left. He is perhaps a close approximation, no more."
"My dear Tulley, you doubt me?" Garland ruffled his robes like an upset hen. "I am a historian of gossip as well as of the Clan. Decar was to dispose of any surviving scribes after the siege of Merrik. It is said he found several young ones in hiding. Decar was moved to spare them, though I doubt it were out of pity. If they had undergone even a fraction of their Mattix training they would be a valuable addition to any Lord's arsenal."
"I have heard of some of what they are said to be capable of, if so pressed. And indeed I lost several allies of mine that were assigned to that assault. More capable men I did not know. I wonder how so small a force, caught by surprise, could have taken so many."
"It is unknown even to me, dear Tulley, what Decar has dangling over their heads that they will not fight nor flee these lands."
"I wonder..." Tulley eyed the grey-clad youth as he glided effortlessly over the rough terrain. The scribe turned his head to meet his gaze. The boy's eyes seemed to shine with an inner light. Tulley blinked, unsure of what he was seeing. The boy turned away and disappeared into the approaching forest.

I dug this up from an old disk. I read a lot of fantasy and well, most of what I read had at least one paragraph that sounded a lot like this. I was probably 16 or so, so forgive me. At least it isn't poetry.

Also, "warrior scribes"? What the hell is that? Looking over this, it sounds like I'm describing a Fremen from Dune. Huh.

I'm thinking of entering a blogathon. It is exactly what it sounds like. 24 hours of blogging. Could be interesting.

And there is a point to it all. I can seek out sponsors and raise money for a charity. I'd probably give to HURAH because it is a charity I have donated to before and also because Sibbitt has worked with them directly. By my cynical nature I am wary of charities, but if Sibbitt says they cool, then they is cool.

Now all I have to do is find some sponsors.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Your Score: Lion Warning Cat

68% Affectionate, 54% Excitable, 44% Hungry

You are the good Samaritan of the lolcat world. Protecting others from danger by shouting observations and guidance in cases of imminent threat, you believe in the well-being of everyone.

To see all possible results, checka dis.

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test