Saturday, May 12, 2007

28 Minutes Later

After a few hours of fitful sleep, what I just wrote no longer seems funny. I was going for lugubrious but I think I only succeeded in bumming myself out. It's my own fault; everything falls apart when I try to rhyme.

Guillermo Looks at 25

I feel no greater at 25
Seems like 24, just more so
Don't look dead, nor much more alive
Perhaps a slight thinning in the torso

Eyes that can't notice what they've seen before
Torn stained pages of thesaurus
We talk to ourselves much more than ever
And more than ever, bore us

Food is hungry ashen paste
Billows as it sustains us
Our memory holds fast upon
any vivid scenes that pain us

The royal We rings sad a ruse
So clearly solitary
Now 25, no more or less to find
Than all that ever was me

Sorry, I haven't attempted poetry for quite some time. Heh, I do miss straining meter to the point of breaking.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Blog, as of this February we have been together four years. I confess, I don't know where we stand anymore. I don't tell you everything anymore and I'm partly sorry. But it is late and let's not concern ourselves with that now. Let us contemplate this picture of Sarah Mclachlan with a tree growing out of her back.

Isn't this nice?

Thursday, May 10, 2007

I'm in hasty preparation for turning 25 this Saturday and the subsequent mid-life crisis. It's well known that Guillermos only live to be forty years old (at best) and that on their 25th birthdays they suffer mid-life crises (Guillermos are also notoriously poor with numbers.) This milestone event involves unhealthy workout regimens, the shunning of furniture, and growing out a full head of hair. This very evening I went to the store and...bought some hair gel.

I haven't put any money towards hair styling in many years. I'm a little nervous.

I'm sure it can't be that hard.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Just like White Ninja from White Ninja Comics, I too have what it takes. I chose the name Salvador Dali and my ninja weapon will be blowdarts tipped with LSD that will make my enemies think they are trapped in a surrealist painting. My hideout could be a giant melting clocktower.

What with my kayak-going band of Sea Ninjas, I expect to be very busy this summer. Speaking of which, there's still time to pick up a kayak and join the crew.

Ha ha, my sister Barbara gifted me the adventure watch (with built-in-compass!) and spent a bit of time searching for it in the store. An employee at REI was happy to help but expressed disbelief at my list.

Employee: "An ice axe? Does he do a lot of mountaineering?"

Barbara: "Well he'd look quite foolish if he didn't."

Employee: "Four kayaks? Does he really need four kayaks?"

Barbara: "I think he needs six now. He's planning on taking all his stuff."

And finally

Employee: "The last watch we have is the one on display. I should ask my manager."

Barbara: "Indeed you shall."

So if I ever get lost in the future, Barbara and only Barbara will be able to wash her hands of all responsibility. She'll likely quote that age-old adage to the search-and-rescue team. "You can buy Memo a digital compass watch, but you can't push the button for him."