I formally apologize about the feet. That usually doesn't happen to me.


Unless, as I've long suspected, my feet begin to disappear when I consume alcohol. That would explain all the missing footwear.


My birthday is coming up in May. The twelfth. Another milestone that month will be my one-year anniversary at my corporate job.


I wonder if I can remember my first impression of the place...[text goes shimmery, flashback-style]


This is Hell. An easy-listening, khaki-and-polo Hell.


[text goes shimmery, returning-from-flashback-style]


Foolish young Guillermo. How wrong you were.


Foolish current Guillermo. You really should have listened to foolish young Guillermo.


I don't entirely blame young Guillermo. That was a very interesting week as I recall.


The third milestone will be the one-and-a-half month anniversary of the time I saw the Red Elvises perform at the Rhythm Room. I went with Alan and Matt. The three of of us have been fans since we were sixteen years old and saw Six String Samurai. It was one of the greatest shows I've ever attended. I'm eager to go back. I'm also eager to get to class and see if my Italian teacher has dropped me yet.