And away we go.

Some days I feel like I know nothing. 

I suppose it's better than running around thinking I know everything and then making an ass of myself. 

There's a whole world out there and it's closer to true that I know relatively nothing. Compared to all the things there are to know.

The weeks stretch into months, as they always do, but the outside seems to be stirring more. At least from the traffic. Arizona is doing a decent job vaccinating people for now. Can we outrun the mutations? Maybe. 

I'm going to Undertow this afternoon. They've remodeled, and it's actually quite roomier than it used to be. Still, it's a high-risk environment. I feel like wearing my vaccination card around my neck. Or maybe I need an old-timey reporter hat so I can stick it in my hatband. What a scoop!

Oh shoot and I'm going to see a movie tomorrow morning in an actual theater. Although they require everyone to wear a mask. Which I will. 

I'm going to miss my mask. It has a giraffe pattern, which I like a lot. I might wear it anyway. That'll show...someone...something.

Ah, April Fool's Day. The day to be a fool. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone going around believing things that aren't true, getting people to believe true things are false, forgetting what's true and what's false and if anything has any meaning.

Good times.

There's a lot to accomplish out there, if we can shake out the time for it.

There's a great deal to dream about, if we can make the time to sleep for it.

And so and then and thus we go on. 

I'm not aware of any good April Fool's Day jokes yet. Mostly because I'm in an office by myself and while I have pranked myself before, it's usually a long con.

I'm excited. On Saturday, I am taking the nephews to see Godzilla vs Kong. Haven't been to a movie in a long time. And now I'm fully vaccinated, and this movie is absolutely one that I want to see in a movie theater. 

Maybe once my credit card debt is entirely paid off, I can reward myself with a new TV. Maybe.

Or I can appreciate what I have. Either way.

I'm down to 208 pounds. I don't think I've been under 210 in more than ten years.  Interesting feeling. I'll have to get my suits tailored. 

I do have a couple weddings coming up. What fun.

What a wild day. Internet was down at work (internet company-side outage) and I had a lot of time to think. Instead of doing that, I organized my computer desktop and deleted old files. 

Now I'm looking at bamboo. I want a bamboo forest in my backyard. Still not sure of the rules on growing a forty-foot high mystical greenspace. 

Plus, I'll be able to cut it down and build crazy bamboo structures. Good times will be had by all.

I am concerned about water usage. I like not using water to irrigate because water is going to be an issue in the next couple of decades. Ah well. Fun while it lasts. 

I wasn't happy with what I just wrote. It felt more like a monologue and not a conversation. I must have been influenced by Ernest Hemingway's writing technique about being direct and forceful. Or something like that, I wasn't paying too much attention. Oh, I think it was: write about what something is, not about what it isn't.

 Too authoritarian for me! It's certainly appropriate for journalism and fiction-writing, but whatever it is I'm doing, whatever it is I'm doing here, is not neatly in either of those categories. 

I am afraid. I'm afraid that I need to feel afraid or else I'm not interested in what I'm doing. It's like I need a sword of Damocles hanging over for the most mundane task. Everything needs to feel like an adventure. The problem being it needs to feel like an adventure. Dammit, everything's an adventure. I just forget.

Last week, I put off filling my gas tank until it was almost empty. Why? Because I wanted to remember what it was like when I used to have no choice, when I'd be walking into the gas station with all the change I had been able to scrounge up so I could put in another half-gallon and make it in to work and back. 

I miss thinking about every moment. 

But did I, even then? I miss feeling like I thought about every moment. Which honestly makes me think I wasn't being so smart if I had to think about every moment. And maybe I'm just different now. 

I don't know why I like the fictional city of Yharnam so much. Maybe I just like the sound footsteps make on the cobbled streets. The place has an unnatural elegance.

Building anything cool is expensive. Which I understand now. Rich people don't want poor people building things. As reluctant as I am to invest in a workshop of my own, it makes a great deal of economic sense if one wished to build on their own terms, over time. 

And yet.

Shade still seems the most important thing. And solar power. We'll see.