I'm still digging through old journals and finding stuff long-forgotten. There are times when I'll find something and not know what the hell I was talking about or where I was trying to go with it.

The following is a good example of such an entry:

September 12, 2002

I am surrounded by delis. Wait, these are not delis, these are men. But I am deeply doubtful of their having any desire to serve me in a friendly and business-like manner. That is all well with me, as I have brought my own sandwich. No deli or man can claim any power over me. Not tonight.

The deli...eh...man has an accordion. He coaxes the music out of it the way you (and I mean you specifically) would coax a doubtful kitten across a sweltering expanse of asphalt.

Your only line was "What the hell?" And you weren't supposed to sound mad at all, just rather puzzled, like a confused Englishman (woman, if you prefer.) And you screwed it up.

When was the last time you checked the back of a greeting card for anything other than the price? Why do these words fall from my lips and not yours? You had them, I would have thought you might hang on to them at least this long.

I have to laugh at you. No bible has ever stopped me.

The love of my life has just walked out of that restroom. Excuse me.

THE 2ND HOUR

I'm back. It seems that she found no music in my discordant and jangled song of love. She seemed particularly aloof when I proclaimed her to be the most beautiful creature to ever come out of that particular latrine.

My commendation of her survival skills and ingenuity at escaping that little closet of decay died on my lips as I realized I was speaking to thin air, or possibly the "OPEN" sign. She was swift, she was.

THE 3RD HOUR

I'd like to say she was taken away. I could give that reason happily, while still sad. But no. She left. That's all.

That's everything. She juxtaposed me all over.

Then it ends. The only thing in there that rings a bell is the checking the back of the greeting card thing. I had a habit of writing secret P.S. messages on the very back of the greeting cards I gave.

As far as approaching a random woman and proclaiming my love for her...no, I've never done that.

But I think there is still time.