I've been meaning to write about a few things, according to my notes. It's going to be a little erratic, perhaps, but it's either that or more of these "quickie" posts I've been spitting out.

[Australian Biology 101]

"It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!"

-Harry Goz.

He was the voice of Captain Murphy on Sea Lab: 2021. (Currently airing on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.) He is dead now. But I know that from now on, whenever I hear about koala bears crapping rainbows, I'm gonna think of one man and one man only.

[Harry Goz]


You are Captain Murphy. You've lost your mind, but
you have more fun without it.


Which Sealab 2021 character are you?
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Italian Lovin' 101

I was up for two hours doing my homework for Italian class. I had to write three separate dialogues. In all three, I hit on girls in clever ways and then get rejected even more cleverly.

I'm just preparing for my trip to Italy.

My teacher was amused. A sad, pitying, smile means amused, right?

Kindergarten 101

I borrowed some money from my mom not too long ago. As a result, she asked me to help her with her kindergarten class. She has a keen memory, that woman, and she there is one thing she remembers particularly well: Guillermo borrowing money=will obey everything commanded to him until he has repaid said money.

Lousy Moms, knowin' stuff about their children.

So Monday morning found me slurming out of bed at 6 am after having fallen asleep at my normal bedtime hour of about 4 am.

I was not a happy Gurg.

But I managed to make it over to my parent's house. I had breakfast, which was pretty sweet. Luis stumbled out of bed while I was eating and asked what I was doing there. I told him that I was just going to help Mom out. My dad didn't ask me what I was doing there. He just asked if I had been up all night. (I've been known to wander in during the wee hours of the morning to have breakfast after a long night of...charity work and studying.)

My mother and I arrived at her school and she introduced me to every...single...person...there.

Well, not to every person there, but at least every one that was over 5 feet tall.

Most of the time I spent working on report cards, since the school had a new master-online-report thing that my mom completely didn't understand.

Oh, during the Pledge of Allegiance, the whole class stood up and did the facing-the-flag-with-their-hands-over-their-heart-recital bit. I was searching for a file and so remained in my seat. I felt a sharp jab in my back just as I found the file. My mother was poking me with her teacher's pointer. At first I wondered why in the hell she wanted to point at me. Then I realized she probably wanted me to stand up with everyone else.

I ignored her and continued working, gambling that she wouldn't just whack me over the head with it since she was in front of her students and I'm sure she was teaching them that "violence doesn't solve problems." Foolish mother. If she had threatened me with the stapler, I probably would have stood. She just didn't have the guts.

*So as not to be misconstrued, I shall say this: I will fight, kill, and maybe even die to protect America. But you won't see me jumping through any hoops for it. I treats my country likes I treats my's ex-girlfriendses: Sure, U.S., I'll help you change your flat tire, but I'm not going to watch your ratty-ass rat-dog while you go on vacation. And no, I don't want to come over and "just talk!"*

We went to the cafeteria for lunch. (I was introduced to all the lunch-ladies.) But it was sweet, I got to get a big styrofoam tray-plate hybrid, I got a corn-dog and a hamburger, steak fries, an orange, and also a cup of applesauce. Does life get any better?

My mom and I sat with some of her students (present and former.) The kid I was sitting next to showed genuine awe that we both had hamburgers on our plates. "But," he pointed out, "yours has cheese and mine doesn't."

"Why don't you go get some cheese?" I asked.

"Oh, no," he explained. "Only teachers can get that stuff." By "that stuff" I assumed he meant the small tray of lettuce, sliced tomatoes, onions, and yes, cheese that was next to the little boxes of chocolate milk.

"Only teachers?" Screw that, I thought. This is America! Everyone gets cheese here! "Here kid, you can have my cheese."

He was grateful, and said so. I told him not to mention it. Nor did I mention that I really considered it more of an investment in the future. (Fat children, five-cents a bushel...anyone?)

When my mom and I finished eating, we got up to go. But before we left, my mother gently admonished some little girl for hardly eating anything on her plate.

Good looking out, Mom.

Mom let me off the hook, despite not having eaten all of my orange because it tasted like burning.

I'm not kidding. I eat spicy foods, but this had been a very different kind of burning.

What are they feeding these kids?

The day was fun, despite the dreary data-entry I had been doing for most of it. Still, I was glad to go. Those kids weren't getting any of my Simpsons references. What's wrong with today's youth? I should have tried my Harry Potter material.

Honors Booty-Shakin' 101

The old-school dance party was awesome. Mai-Linh and I had been calling it an "old-school dance party" because, as Alecia stated, "You see, back in high school we used to have frequent dance parties. We'd find a place, everyone would get dressed up, and we'd all dance for hours and hours completely lacking any alcohol or drugs." (Reading that last bit makes me realize it wasn't exactly old-school. But hey, to quote her brother, Donovan: "That's why they have New-School. Because Old-School sucked!)

But a few people understood that to mean 80's old school and came dressed accordingly. (We had also asked that people burn mixed CD's to play.) It worked out well though, Gilberto's 80's mix rocked the house! Amy Thon's late-90's mix was also sweet. Mai-Linh's mixes were good.

My drunken DJ'ing (between my monster speakers hooked up to the DVD player and the huge multi-disk CD player Mai stole from her sister) was nothing short of inspired. Impaired, but inspired nonetheless.

Is anyone interested in another dance party?

Lauren H. showed me (sort of) how to hook up my laptop to just the huge speakers so that this time I can focus less on DJ'ing and more on drinking. That's what computers are for, right?

I need feedback. If you didn't come to the dance party because you said it couldn't be done, will you come shake yo thang with us now that we've proven ourselves?
(Seriously, there were mad hotties shaking their tail-feathas.)

Emotional Ties To Food Items In Society 101

I went to Sonic a few days ago. I got a Route 44 Ocean Water. I hadn't had one in quite some time.

I used to get one practically every week, sometimes even two. Of course, I was with someone when I used to go. She was one of my best friends.

And now she isn't.

I miss her a lot. In fact, it seems like I am missing her more and more.

Maybe that's why D.C.'s play "Skip" (which I never got around to writing a critique for and here's why) got to me so much. The play was hilarious, by the way. You all should keep an eye on that boy.

The play spoke of how when people remember things, they tend to idealize. For instance, when I remember Trevor, I think of his fluid wordplay and scathing retorts. I don't think of the time he somehow managed to throw up on my comforter.

Missing someone more is...unsettling.

Am I just idealizing her?

Or worse, is she really that great and caring and wonderful and the more and more I meet people I realize in the end that they're not nearly as great as she and the one person that I felt would really accept me for everything that I was, the bad with the good, gave me a chance to care about her the same way and I BLEW IT?

Actually, I don't know which of those two alternatives would be worse.

I'm tired, this entry is too long, it's late, and I have to go find the person who said "If it is finer to love than to receive love, then unrequited love is the finest love of all," and then kick them in the groin.

Ha ha.