XKCD continues to guide the informal policies of this here ye old tymey blog.

So a note to any future employers: I have eaten out of trashcan. (Which causes most people to recoil at first but it turns to pity when I explain that I was working for the US government at the time.)

I'm not terribly good at most tasks and am best used as for infiltrating the competition and bringing their employee productivity to a screeching halt. Office pranks will also increase 700%.

And lastly, on Fridays I do not wear pants. Not for you, not for anyone.

And last-lastly, I will skip work everytime a Spiderman movie comes out.