As I age swiftly towards my 25th birthday, it behooves me to create a gift registry as my brain doesn't remember as well it used to. Eh, that is, I think it doesn't.

The registry can be found here at REI's website. I also think you can go into the store and just put "Guillermo Lopez" and "May 12, 2007" into their magical computer thingy.

Questions may arise about my choices despite their clear practicality. How can I possibly justify asking for four touring kayaks, you say? An excellent observation; allow me to explain. I wouldn't expect to get a kayak and give nothing in return. Thus, anyone who gifts me one of the four required kayaks can join my kayak gang, the "Sea Ninjas." We will paddle across the high seas helping wayward sailors, freeing foreign peoples from oppression, and battling pirates and some of the more boorish sea creatures.

I've also been searching for a registry that has a giant, robotic sea turtle that will serve as a mobile underwater base. It'll be great; we can paddle in through its open mouth and best of all, for rapid underwater deployment we'll jump into egg-shaped torpedoes and then fire ourselves out of the turtle's butt. When we reach our destination, we'll pop out on the surface, crack out of the eggs, and wail on the giant kraken or what-have-you.

But so far no luck finding anything like that at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, but I remain optimistic. I seriously doubt I'm the first person to recognize the need for a sea turtle base.

I will name it "Raphael."

And now for a picture of Joshua Remy Teco stuck under a chair:



Ha ha, babies. What do they know; nothin about nothin.