I think I miss going crazy.

Not crazy in the traditional sense. I don't mean babbling drooling biting myself and pinning things to other things. I mean just diving in.

Going crazy is taking part in a very natural process. It is a conscious decision to dive into the uncertainty.

Because it is there; I swim in it, breathe, rise to the surface and spit it at the passing gulls. Doubt, frustration, excitement, wonder, surprise, watching the car in front of you on the freeway spit up a pebble and crack your windshield.

The freedom that oozes out of our ignorance. We have no idea what is going to happen next. We gamble, yes, we hope, doubly so. We don't know. I don't know. So it's okay.

I'll do what I think is best.

Will it be enough?

It'll be something.

I think I like being part of the uncertainty.