So people always ask me, "Do you put up the picture first or write and then put up the picture?"

No!

That is, no, nobody ever asks me that.

In truth, I pick out the picture from a plethora of art I've stolen- ...eh, art I've fair-used from the various internet tubes and then proceed on as usual. Sometimes the image will provide me with an anchor for a mood or theme but usually not. In the editing process, the image appears as a bunch of html code and that conveys to me very little mood except for maybe futuristic-robot-language mood. (That mood can also be conveyed by gratuitous amounts of LEDs.)

Sometimes I'll listen to music. It also helps establish a mood but even less consistently so than an image. I can listen to a few songs or albums over and over again to try to grasp what I'm feeling but not many. Sarah Mclachlan's Surfacing album works pretty well for the introspective stuff. And for falling asleep to. And maybe the rare karaoke party when I'm alone in my room.

I'll throw in Live's Throwing Copper when I'm feeling morbid.

Portishead is good for when I'm feeling morbidly obese.

I haven't chosen an image yet. Maybe I won't. I didn't used to. The original intent was not particularly artsy; nowadays with tabbed browsing and e-mail instant messaging I figured a picture would indicate at the quickest glance that I had put up a new post thus saving some people the effort of reading the first few lines to find out.

People are often surprised by how considerate I can be. The inverse is also true.

Rituals are important in my writing process. Not crucial, but I certainly know that at night if I get out of the shower and sit down to write with my wet towel tucked haphazardly around my waist I have a much better chance of engaging in critical thinking than if I say, slide over to YouTube to watch videos about copyright law explained by Disney characters.

Today as I fed Ender and Joshua a healthy breakfast of single-grain oatmeal and Cheerios, NPR played a live recording of Every Day I Have to Cry by musician Arthur Alexander. He wrote songs for the Beatles. As I engaged in the daily battle to get more oatmeal into Joshua's mouth than onto his face, Joshua began to bop side to side in his high chair to the music. I stopped, looked at him for a second, then I began to dance along with him. Ender looked at us like we were crazy, then he bopped right along with us.

I think this is why people have kids. Moments like this when you suddenly have someone to dance with. It feels like you'll always have someone, that they'll be with you forever.

I don't want to have kids. I don't believe anyone will be with me forever. We're all here for a little while and I prefer to enjoy as much of our little while together as long as I can. It's okay if it's not forever. I have this small time with my nephews now, the three of us splattered with oatmeal and dancing. What more do I need?

I won't deny the possibility that I'll change my mind. It's also possible that I'll find religion and join the Marine Corp. Parents, mystics, and Marines have the same mantra, "You can't possibly know until you experience it."

I can only respond gently with "But now you can't possibly know now what life would be like without it."

I don't think I'll put a picture up today.