Work was a tad wild this evening.

Halfway through my shift, the only other delivery boy parks in a handicap spot and his car is towed in the five minutes it takes him to deliver the pizza.

It was all up to me.

Historically, that has never gone well.

At one point during my driving I noticed I was surrounded by cars filled with screaming girls in silver-colored plasic crowns.

At two points I found myself grill-to-grill with a vehicle headed down the street in the opposite direction.

At no point did I get pulled over by a cop, but it was close. I was being trailed by a squad car for a mile or so but then a couple of homeless guys tried to sprint through eight lanes of traffic. I avoided them by a wide margin, but the cop nearly hit one of them.

Eyes on the road, officer, not on the delivery boy who tries to manuever his car like a damaged TIE fighter. Even if you catch him in the act, he'll never learn.