Monday, February 14, 2005

I am finding it difficult to sleep.


Not difficult to fall asleep, not insomnia; no. If I were to lie back and shut my eyes to imagine tomorrow when I opened them again I would certainly find myself there.


I can't shake this feeling that there was something very important I had to do today and I did not do it. I had this feeling yesterday. I had this feeling the day before that. It's sort of a "Did I leave the oven on?" kind of feeling except that the oven in question is 40 feet tall.


Tomorrow brings work. School. Valentine's Day? Not Valentine's Day for me. I have a date with a textbook and a part-time computer information systems teacher. I should bring candles. Or hey, why not go all-out and grab the wine and the bubble-bath? Nothing wrong with hoping for the best...


That will be my routine until the end of the semester in May. Well, probably not the candles and bubble-bath, but the school-and-work thing certainly. I have already marked my calendar for the day I will quit my job: May 26th, exactly one year from my date of hire. The job isn't bad, the money is good, the hours are reasonable, I hardly notice the Muzak anymore, the dental plan is adequate, the retirement options are sound, and if I had a necktie I would hang myself with it.


I think I'm feeling the way I used to feel when I first started this job. That burning desire to rage against the machine. But to what end? It is an impotent rage, a wild punch at the chin of faceless man.


Now, a kick to the groin of a faceless man would probably get more of a reaction. Heh heh, how's that for a severance package.

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