Finished With School? Here Is A Homework Assignment To Help Wean You Into The Summer:

The assignment is very simple. If you have a good memory, it doesn't even require a pen and paper.

You assignment is to count how many times you hear or see the word "Angel" in a 24-hour period.

(Helpful Hint: Turn on a radio.)

The word will probably appear many more times than you expected. I know it has for me.

Well, in my case, "Angel" is not a word. It is a name. It is her name.

There is a short story by Ray Bradbury that I must have read years ago. I remember it very well.

In the story, a young boy's father is a "spaceman". The boy and his mother live quietly on Earth while his father goes off on very long, incredibly dangerous missions through the stars.

This is particularly difficult on the mother. She spends her days trying to forget she even has a husband because of how greatly she misses him.

She explains this behavior to her son. She also tells the boy that she knows that if the father is killed in space, she will not be able to look at the night sky. If he is killed on Orion, every time she sees that star she will be reminded of his death. If he is killed on Sirius, every upward glance at it will bring terrible visions of the man she loves burning away into nothing.

In the end, the father's spaceship falls into the Sun.

The mother and child spend their days in darkness. Heavy blinds on the windows keep out every beam of sunlight. They tend the garden at night, go out for walks, to the park, all at night.

A lifetime in darkness; in fear of the past.

Myself, I don't need to do anything radical. I'm already nocturnal. Besides, the Sun isn't my problem. (Except when he's being a prick.)

Angel went to Chicago. And I can't see Chicago from here. Hold on, let me go and try standing on the roof.

Nope.

So I don't have to worry about seeing Chicago, I guess. I just have to worry about what I hear.

When I hear the name Angel, it tugs at the corners of my lips until I relent and smile. Other times, the name hits me like a blow to the chest.

Sometimes it's both.

Maybe I should just get earplugs or something.

Eh, you don't have to log your emotional reactions for the assignment. You only have to count.

Oh, but you get Extra Credit for the strangest occurrence of the word/name.

It'll have to beat this one, though:

The Wednesday morning before I left for Lake Roosevelt, I was up at 7:30 am. My phone rings. It's a number I don't recognize. Curious as to who might be calling me at this ungodly hour, I answer. "Y'ello?"

The voice of an elderly lady quavers out, "Is Angel there?"

"Excuse me?" This has to be a joke. I know Angel can do some pretty impressive accents, but I didn't think she was going on the trip.

"Is Angel there? This is the number he gave me."

"He? No, I don't know anyone by that name. Er, any males by that name."

"Oh, okay. Sorry about that." She hangs up.

I look down at my cell phone, then I look around. I'm waiting for the theme from The Twilight Zone to start playing.

So that's my weirdest one. Beat that story, or at least fabricate an entertaining lie beating that one and I'll give you a Gold Star.

If you think you deserve a Gold Star, give a holler. Er, you'd better wave. I probably won't hear you shouting if my earplugs are in.