I'm not sure if this is normal, but the last time I took the Nyquil before I went to sleep time wasn't the same. Specifically, it was longer. Much longer.

The world was moving at a maddeningly slow pace. I ended up sleeping for only a few hours. I just didn't have the patience to sleep any more.

And tonight I'm sitting here staring into this little plastic cup of viscous green liquid and thinking, "That's forever in there." And I want no part of it. But I am a little curious, and it is supposed to be pretty effective at relieving the symptoms I have.

So I took it. And is it my imagination or did the pen I knocked off my desk hesitate a bit before it hit the ground?

The label says to consult your doctor before taking it if you consume more than three alcoholic drinks a day. Labels- schmabels.

Rockbiter: [to Attreyu] They look like big, good, strong, hands, don't they? I always thought that is what they were.

The Never-Ending Story is on sale at Virgin in Arizona Mills Mall. Ten bucks. Go get a copy. Now. A storythat never ends for just ten dollars? I knows a good deal when I sees it. I also picked up Pi and The Big Lebowski, movies that make no claim to last forever but still have plenty of life in them.

I'm tired of wearing these pants.

I'm an omnivore again.

How long have I been sitting here typing this? I don't even feel sleepy. I told you, don't judge an Over-The-Counter drug by it's label.

Here is a short exchange from dinner with my family and a few friends:

My Mom: [to Macario, who recently married] I know you'll make a good father! I remember when you had all those puppies and you took such good care of them! You were so gentle with them, feeding them and bathing them. Do you still have them?

Macario: No, no, we don't.

My Mom: Oh, what did you do with them?

Brandon Juwig: [with a big grin, just loud enough so that I can hear] Killed 'em.

I then exploded into a fit of laughter and violent coughing. I hope it is understood why that is funny. I don't think killing puppies is funny per se. Watch, replace "puppies" with "slugs". See, comparing potential parenting skills with his ability to take care of the animals and then joking about them meeting an awful demise, that's what is funny. As far as I know the puppies are fine.

Even with all the talk of puppy-killing and my hacking and wheezing, I managed to ask my Mom something that I had been wondering about. I asked her if she would be upset since I won't get married through the church. My mother is very Catholic, as is my father. She said that the church isn't as important as me being in love and accepting the responsibilities of being a husband. (I know, way to go Mom, huh?) I didn't ask my Dad and I don't ever intend to. I figure I can just get him so liquored up at the wedding that he'll forget what religion he is.

It's a fool-proof plan, and I'm just the fool to prove it.