We took the mutts with us in the new car to go get burritos today. They loved it. I'd been hesitant, because it's a new car and it was nice having one thing in my life that wasn't covered in dog hair. Even my office has dog hair in it, somehow. 

The back seat is big enough for all three of them to fit comfortably. Bun-Bun and Marceline were each sticking their snoots out of opposition windows, their nostrils flaring wildly as they sampled the night air. 

Marceline is slowing down quite a bit. She laid down in the middle and just tried to snooze. She isn't that old, really. She was a pup when we bought the house, we guessed probably almost a year old at the time, although the shelter said she was three. 

I guess she's 9 now? She still likes to romp and wrestle the other two every now and then, but it's not often. 

I don't know. She's got a cozy life. When I'm eating, she doesn't sit at my feet and beg like Mabel and Bun. Still, when I do inevitably give in and give them a bite of whatever I'm eating, I will take a piece and go find her, usually resting on our bed, and I'll give it to her. 

I feel different today. Today I helped a person who is a quadriplegic, and on a ventilator. Tracheostomy and all that. Can't move their limbs. Can't breathe on their own power. 

So what the hell am I so mopey about? I can...walk. Breathe. Go out for burritos.

I helped this person, in a small way, to hopefully make their life a little better, and they won't ever know I did it. Maybe it was that; I guess I felt better because I wasn't thinking about myself for a whole twenty minutes. 

I don't know. But I feel different today. 

And maybe I'll be able to get over myself and just get out there and help some more people tomorrow. 

Hopefully. I do have a habit of wallowing. 

The burritos were good. Beans and rice only. No cheese; I'm still doing the no meat no dairy thing. I forget why. Oh yeah, it was mostly spite. 

Hey, there's a reason to keep moving forward, and a reason to stop being hung up on what I can't change: Pure spite. 

That'll show....them. I'm not sure who they are exactly, but I can't wait to see their faces when I...keep not eating meat? 

Hmmm I may have gotten a little off-track here. Clearly it's time for bed. I bet I won't even dream of carne asada burritos hardly at all.