I have returned from Las Vegas with bruised dancing feet and a liver that is no longer speaking to me. I have yet to shake off the residual wooze that accompanies two days of drinking capped by a massive breakfast that included but was not limited to donuts, crab legs, stir-fry, and hollandaise sauce.

All was wonderful. Mostly.

But now I know hollandaise sauce does not cure hangovers, no matter how much you use.