There has been a controversial statement floating around among my friends that I feel it is my duty to discuss. A heretic combination of hearsay, naysay, gainsay, and even a little soothsay has led people to believe that I do not make a great mai-tai. As the primary source, I tell you that I made it, I drank it, and it was indeed great. (Subsequent mai-tais were greater and greater still.) I hope this unbiased statement helps subdue the controversy.

Some Matts remain skeptical.