The latest scientific study suggests that a person is stupidest right when they wake up. Stupider even than when they haven't slept for 24 hours. Stupider than if they're drunk.

I don't find this very helpful. I would rather not have science on my side when I am debating going into work after being up all night drinking. Not now, Science, I say. Not now.

Although, science scores big points because students at Cal-tech have figured out how bumblebees fly. This is insignificant because from an engineering standpoint, those fuzzy bastards should be as flightless as the dodo. It's pretty kick-ass how the students figured out the mechanics behind it. I'm not sure I understand it myself, but it has something to do with their wings, I think. Don't quote me on that.

I feel a bit odd. Also a bit jittery. I suspect the large amount of coffee I drank a few hours ago. I haven't had much caffeine since classes let out. My stomach is wrenching about. My eyes feel like they're seeing through things instead of what I'm trying to look at. It's like having very crappy super-powers.

"Stop, evil-doers!"

"Aw, rats! It's Jittery Wall-eyed Nauseated Man! He'll...he'll...annoy us with pretentious banter?"

"What is 'being pretentious' really? Perhaps I am merely behaving in a pretentious manner to illustrate the absurdity of pretending that others actually see me as the person I am sarcastically feigning to be?

"YAAAARGH!"

I think I would actually be classified as a super-villain. Hmm. I've always flirted with the Dark Side, but I never expected to develop a relationship. That'll fit nicely into my current modus operandi of my complete inability to expect the expected.

For now, I will be know as 3:40-In-The Morning-Boy. My super-power will be the ability to go to bed at 3:40 in the morning.

"But why are Guillermo and 3:40-In-The-Morning-Boy never seen at the same time?"

Wink.