My friend Valerie at work is taking a photography class and she asked a few of us to help her out. Thus, one fine day we trudged out to a nearby park and she took a few photos of us. These two pictures are of me and Janelle. She's all-around stellar and has done modeling before. Most of the pictures turned out okay. Someone had joked that I should be a model. I replied that I could't be a model; I don't like people telling me what to do. Although, another model I knew told me I should be a model. She said I had a "universal look."


I want to say that these were the only two times anyone has ever told me I should consider modeling. I don't want to make it seem like everyone who meets me tells me "Darling, you're so beautiful! You absolutely must be a model!" Mostly, people just tell me to stop trying to steal their food and at least try to look like I'm working.


Speaking of work, Janelle and I both really like Napoleon Dynamite. Last week she made a drawing of my face (with gratuitous over-shading) that said "There's more where this comes from if you go to the dance with me. -Janellean Dynamite."


I wrote her a note, summoned my origami skills and folded it elaborately. Inside the note was a picture of a heart with the "No!!!" written inside.


After lunch that day, I'm sitting at my desk when Janelle saunters up, sets down an entire cake and then walks off. I'm sitting there confused as all hell. I look at the cake and written in red frosting is "Janellean (heart)'s Guillermo."


I look up and everyone in my entire unit is staring at me knowingly. "No," I protest weakly, "it's just a joke from the movie." I start blushing furiously. I admit I was confused.


Once the furor died off from that I was determined to respond in kind. I was scheduled to get off early that day and by the time I left the building I knew what I had to do.


I returned to work a short time later. I marched over to Janelle's desk (followed by a small crowd) and presented her with something wrapped in aluminum foil. "I caught you a delicious bass," I said.


She unwrapped it and shrieked "Eww!"


I had purchased an entire 2-pound fish at a nearby deli. Sadly, it wasn't actually a bass but some much cheaper type of fish. But it got the job done.


Janelle admitted that I had gotten her pretty good. Then The Promise by When In Rome began to play and we both went to the respective bathrooms to wash the fish juice off of our hands.