I am not a difficult person to outsmart.


I know this to be true because I outsmart myself all of the time.


The most recent time was a couple of days ago after I had taken my Italian final exam. Our class had agreed to meet at a nearby restaurant at 7 pm. Having completed the final by 6, a number of us made our way to a bar within walking distance of the restaurant. A couple sake bombers later, we realized that we were 10 minutes late and scrambled off to meet the rest of our class.


As I found a place at the table, one of my classmates, Tiffany, walks up to me and plops down my jacket. I had left it at the bar and she had gone back for it. I thanked her as profusely as two sake bombers would allow.


Upon recognizing that I was in a forgetful state of mind, I ran to my car and threw my jacket in the trunk so that I couldn't possibly leave without it. After a moment's thought, I opened the car door, took out my cash, and threw my wallet under the front seat. I then proceeded to completely erase the event from my memory with the aid of various Italian wines.


I was a little disappointed when I found my wallet. I had been hoping that I would have to embark on an epic journey filled with great deeds, colorful characters, and farcical misunderstandings. And in the end, I would find my wallet and realize that what began as a journey to look for my wallet became a journey to discovery myself.


Then I could get the movie-preview guy to do the voice-over: "In a world where things are a certain way, a boy leaves behind all he ever knew to search for his wallet and finds himself along the way."


But, the wallet was just under the seat of my car. Looks like none of us are going to have to worry about any of that.