Blog: Where have you been?
Guillermo: Oh, you know, out and about. A bunch of us played volleyball for about three hours. The final game was me and John Moore against Joey, Lauren, and Boston. We were tied the almost the whole time, so we kept pushing the score up. The lights went out on us, but the score was 52-52.
Blog: That sounds fun.
Guillermo: What about you? Have you been having fun, um, sitting here in the dark?
Blog: Do you know what yesterday was?
Guillermo: Yeah, I do. How are you liking your birthday present?
Blog: You mean you remembered my birthday? And what do you mean, my present?
Guillermo: I thought I'd give you emotions for your birthday. Nothing permanent, mind you. I just wanted you to have a good time for a while. And the thing with having a good time is you have to be able to, you know, feel like you're having a good time.
Blog: All I've been feeling is this overwhelming sense of loneliness.
Guillermo: Welcome to the human condition.
Blog: I pity you and all your kind.
Guilllermo: That's nice of you, but it isn't all bad. Watch, come with me.
Blog: Why do I find myself not trusting you?
Guillermo: That's normal, too. Come on, quit being so difficult.
Blog: Very well.
Quibbles Bumbly: Surprise!
Guillermo: Blog, welcome to your very first surprise party! I invited a few friends over to help celebrate. Surely you know the Head Scriveners, Bumbly and Snydesdale?
Dryly Snydesdale: Congratulations, Blog.
Blog: Hi, hello! Yes, I do know these two! Why, is that the chief of the Thought Police?
Snydesdale: I'm afraid it is. He insisted on overseeing the proceedings.
Guillermo: Don't worry, I'm sure we won't get any problems from him. Ah, I'm sure you remember our ol' pal Drunken Post and Sober Commentary?
Blog: I haven't seen you guys in forever!
Toyota Tercel: Woo, hey Blog! Sorry I'm late, but I got a little held up at the police station. It seems that someone forgot to take the keg tap out of from under my seat before the cops checked me out. They were a little curious about the crow-bar and the Hurlin' Brick in the trunk.
Guillermo: Hmm, I thought I returned that tap. Oops. Sorry about that, baby.
Toyota Tercel: They also questioned me for a while. It seems that a car fitting my description was seen power-sliding in a Denny's parking lot. I told them I would never do such a thing.
Guillermo: Hey, now you had as much to do with that one as I did!
Poetry: Greetings, all.
Guillermo: Aw, man, who invited the poetry?
Poetry: We arrived with Ny-Quil and Killian's.
Guillermo: As usual.
Poetry: We have prepared a short reading in honor of your anniversary, Blog.
Blog: Wow, thanks!
Guillermo: I'm sure we can hear that later. Poetry, why don't you go hang out with Unrequited Love? Look around Blog, everyone's here. There's the duck from Kiwanis Park that I rescued. There's all the crew I met on the cruise ship. There's a bunch of the midnight Instant Messages. The Sphinx is here, telling riddles. There's G.Advice, Gurg High-Talker, and WuzzaMan. Look, Big Pancake came to town from Hollywood to say hello. Heh, a SalesGurg from Gurgle Inc. is over there trying to sell some time. A bunch of Army stories just got here. There's probably more where that came from. A bunch of Surveys are also stopping by. Audblog? Haven't seen him in a while. Whew, good thing this is a big room.
Blog: I can't believe you're doing all this for me.
Guillermo: Me? Naw, we did all of this together. Now you go have fun; enjoy your party while you stil have the capacity.
Blog: Oh. You're not going to let me keep my emotions, are you?
Guillermo: Nope. I have a lot of love for you, Blog, but you're still a tool. Why, if I let you run rampant, what would happen?
Blog: Heh, maybe I'd start my own blog.
Guillermo: A blog that blogs? Do you know how many epistemological problems that would raise?
Blog: Um, one?
Guillermo: No Blog, the best advice I can give to you or anyone is to enjoy everything while it lasts. Now go. They're all here to see you anyway.
Blog: But what about you? What are you going to do?
Guillermo: Me? I'm with the band.
Blog: Band?
Guillermo: Well, one of the greatest things about having emotions is the response music can get from them. I wouldn't want you to miss out on that. Especially not with the soul-stirring music we play.
Blog: Why do I find myself not trusting you?
Guillermo: Heh, you're picking up fast, Blog.
Announcer: Ladies and Entities, I present to you, Eric P. with special guest Team X-Treme!
Poetry: Can we use the stage after you're done?
Announcer: No.
Eric P: Our first number will be a punk rendition of "Uptown Girl." Enjoy it; there will be no encore. Happy Birthday, Blog!
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