The Pessimist: "My beer is half-empty."

The Optimist: "My beer is half-full."

The Drunk: "Where the hell is my beer?"


* * * * * * *

The Good Host: "Can I get you a beer?"

The Drunk Pessimist: "Is this your beer?"

The Drunk Optimist: "Is this my beer?"

The Drunk: "Yes, yes, and not anymore it ain't."

* * * * * *

The Good Host: "Are you okay to drive?"

The Bad Drunk Host: "Let's all go to Salazar Bros. and get burritos!"

The Bad Drunk: "Race you there!"

* * * * *

Happy New Year's Eve! Please make sure to be a "Good Host", or a "Good Drunk".

The parts of "Drunk" and "Bad Drunk" have already been cast, I'm afraid.

Don't feel too bad. Maybe you'll get the part next year.