The Pessimist: "My beer is half-empty."
The Optimist: "My beer is half-full."
The Drunk: "Where the hell is my beer?"
* * * * * * *
The Good Host: "Can I get you a beer?"
The Drunk Pessimist: "Is this your beer?"
The Drunk Optimist: "Is this my beer?"
The Drunk: "Yes, yes, and not anymore it ain't."
* * * * * *
The Good Host: "Are you okay to drive?"
The Bad Drunk Host: "Let's all go to Salazar Bros. and get burritos!"
The Bad Drunk: "Race you there!"
* * * * *
Happy New Year's Eve! Please make sure to be a "Good Host", or a "Good Drunk".
The parts of "Drunk" and "Bad Drunk" have already been cast, I'm afraid.
Don't feel too bad. Maybe you'll get the part next year.