Soldier Once

i was a soldier once 

and War is mostly waiting

i saw lots of sunrises and sunsets 

and blocks of midnight hours 

a marathon of intermittent sleeps

dreaming and waking can blend into each other

if you're not careful

i didn't want to be a soldier after all

it turned out

but the training has been useful to me

there will be doubt and despair 

and hours lying in the freezing muck 

of a hastily-dug fighting position

fear is learned and maybe it can be unlearned 

it probably won't be though

the panic will push out reason

when the training isn't there

every army sleepwalks

bulwarks and rubbish heaps 

but War is mostly waiting 

over mountains, under hills

you're out there somewhere waiting too 

and I am a soldier still