Ah yes, the journal. The voice of the past and present, to myself in the future. 

I blame smart phones for all my problems. They're incredible machines. And yet, I lived so much more when it was much easier to get bored. 

I do wonder how my brain has changed. When i got my ADHD diagnosis years ago, I thought, "That makes sense" and took my medication and went about my business. 

It was only recently, when trying to help my friend understand their own ADHD diagnosis, that I started listening to lectures on YouTube about the emotional response many people, especially adults, have when they get their diagnosis. 

It's like you've been racing in a rowboat your whole life and never winning, then you find out that everyone else had a motor in theirs. 

I didn't exactly feel that way. At least I don't think I did.

But I say... That I have to go buy some Christmas presents and it's not something I want to do but my headlight is out so it's better to go during the day. Also I need to order a new headlight. And learn how to replace it. Are halogen lights good? I kind of hate them but if they help me see that would be good even though I would know it annoys other people like me. 

Decision time. 

Decorative piano music drifts through the cool air of the Thai food restaurant. I'm picking up some food on my way home from work. I wonder if the music is deliberately bland to defy stereotype. It may be working; as I don't know what Thai music normally sounds like. Music is complicated anyway. I remember my parents listening to Spanish-language music on the radio and whenever a song came on that I found myself kind of enjoying, they would change the station. 

This restaurant has been here a while, in the strip mall anchored by a Fry's Food and Drug. 

I suppose this "plaza" as it's labeled has been a big part of my life. There was a Mom and Pop video rental store, literally called Mom and Pop's. A Blockbuster Video moved in, and then Pop died. The Blockbuster Video is now an urgent care. And the great croissant of life rolls on. 

My food is almost ready. 

My heel is still injured. Still not a good idea to attack me, because I haven't lost any mobility. It just hurts to do certain movements. Like my patented softshoe, as well as my legendary samba. But I can still do them as well as before. 

The plan today: Eat this Thai food, lift weights, play a little bit of PlayStation, and then go to bed at a decent hour. 

The 40 Year Old Vegan?

I made the mistake of watching a bunch of YouTube videos of dogs and cows that are best friends. Now I feel kinda bad about eating cows. David Attenborough also says I can help biodiversity by eating less meat. Dang it. But it's so delicious.

My foot is injured and I can't treadmill walk right now. That's also had some influence on my thinking. I am rapidly gaining back the weight I've managed to lose over the past 4 years and while I refuse to limit my portions, perhaps gorging myself on plant products will help.

I should probably see a doctor about this foot and see if there's anything they can inject me with to speed up the process. Yeah, better living through chemistry. 

I have a week of vacation coming up. Pretty exciting. Maybe I'll do some spring cleaning and get rid of a bunch of stuff that I haven't used in years.

My foot hurts. A lot. Finally, an excuse to use a cane!

Here I go for four whole minutes! What the heck have I been doing? I don't know!

Friends are coming into town so I'm excited about that. Bun-Bun seems happy and healthy on her treatment, so hooray!

I'v been playing Elden Ring, which I am enjoying. I was on the fence for a while. It's bizarre enough to satisfy my Eldritch horror itch.

Not much else really. My heel hurts a lot more than usual from walking. Might have to start icing it. 

To the Icery!

 Bun-Bun is home and feeling good! She's got Addison's Disease, so we are very relieved. Pretty easy to treat...not the cheapest, but she's worth it. 

I've been letting her sleep on the bed. 

Bun-Bun isn't feeling well. She's at the vet getting IV fluids right now. Looks like renal problems. I like this vet. They are going to do some blood work and see if her levels stabilize. I feel like she's in good hands right now. 

I hope to know more soon.  

What's the world coming to? I've been in the same line of work for 9 years. How interesting. It's kinda nice to be really good at something. It's still work, but at least I know enough about how to do everything that it isn't particularly stressful beyond the sheer quantity of it.

I got my Covid booster and my flu shot. ON THE SAME DAY. That's how hardcore I am. I felt fine, although the booster arm was a little sore, and then the lymph nodes in the armpit were also tender the next day. 

Oh yeah, I made hummus. It was really good. More importantly, there was a lot of it. I like hummus a lot, but it's expensive and I never get to eat as much as I want. Solution: Make it my dang self. Now I have a whole tub of hummus for roughly 12 bucks worth of ingredients. No more of this 7 dollars for 8 oz or whatever. I'm going to be grubbing on hummus 24-7. 

Now to learn how to make tahini...maybe naan. 

 I took what I thought was a compromise nap yesterday afternoon. I propped myself up on the couch with Mabel and Bun-Bun and let myself drift in and out of consciousness. It certainly didn't feel like actual sleeping. Still, this hour-or-so of half-assed nappery [Ed. note: antiquated word that has nothing to do with naps] was enough to keep me awake until 1 am.  I went to bed at 10:30 to try to get decent sleep. What a foolish fool I was. 

I listened to a few excellent ghost stories while I waited to feel sleepy. I'm pretty happy about those. And I don't feel terrible today, not now, not yet. 

I'll just go through today and pretend I got real sleep and maybe that will work. I'll shoot for 10:30 pm again tonight. 

 Work has been wild and crazy. Probably true of works all over. Many people getting sick. So far I feel fine, mostly. I think. I have allergies so every sniffle and cough is suspect, but probably just the regular allergies I deal with.

I've got a thermometer in my office so I take my temperature often. 

On to other things.

There is a great deal on my mind. Too much, I suppose, for any one thing to break through. My mother got Covid, then got better, then my father got it, and seems to be mostly okay so far.

Yesterday, I had the day off from work for MLK Jr. Day, which is super cool. I didn't walk or stream. Today I will, because I must. 

Kelly's birthday is today. I got her this:

Sits on top of the buffet she's so fond of. I like it too. Now we won't have dust and fur all over our liquor. Life is good.

I'll spare myself the New Year's Resolution phase of this month. Such goals tend to dissipate as quickly as the grey wisps of smoke from the children's cheap fireworks.

Still, the holiday distractions are over and I get back to focusing on walking and talking, I suppose. 

I dreamed of corn dogs. Wonder what that means.