Random Facebook Status Updates:

I've been helping my nephews with their homework for "To Kill A Mockingbird". I'm convinced schools teach it all wrong. I present it as murder mystery. My opener was: "Picture this: In the pitch-black darkness of night, a young boy is unconscious on the ground under a tree, his arm broken. There is a little girl there too, dressed up as a giant ham. Between them, a dead man lies in the dirt; a knife buried in his chest. Can you figure out who the killer is?"

Also I tell them to keep track of how many times Scout hands someone their ass. Physically and verbally.

I didn't care for the book the first couple times I read it, but I blame the way it's taught. I love the book now. Yes, there's all kinds of meaning in it, but can't we just enjoy it on the surface level first before we start dissecting it? You know this book's got jokes

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Last night I dreamed I was walking through a grove of great trees. Giraffes were everywhere, eating the leaves. A blue giraffe broke away from the group and began walking next to me. In my dream I said "Blue giraffe, huh? I wonder if this means anything."

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Public Service Announcement (aka reminder to myself): Never try to step over your pets. Always go around or make them move out of your way. This isn't a dominance/alpha thing (I don't subscribe to that hypothesis); it's a safety thing. What inevitably happens is I'll start to step over the dog, the dog will then be inspired to move out of the way, and suddenly I'm doing The Twist to a soundtrack of my swears, trying not to step on the hapless hound or fall on my own preposterous posterior.

Stepping over pets: JUST DON'T DO IT