I'll show them all. I will be a bear.

One of the reasons I chose to study biology was that secretly I believed that someday I will have to face every single animal ever in a one-on-one gladiator style battle held in an arena reflective of their natural habitat.

Whew, I feel better letting that off my chest.

I used to think I could take on a bear. Or at least outrun one. After viewing David Attenborough's series on mammals, I now know that I can't outrun a bear. Not across open land. My only chance is if we battle in a very dense forest. Then I can keep running away until the bear dies of heart disease or loneliness.

So I chalk that one up as a loss, but I expect to score big points against most of the rodent order and the dugongs won't be any trouble now that Steller's Sea Cow is out of the picture.

The marsupials should be a wash.

Moose and elephants and bison will happily stomp the shit out of me in any direct confrontation so my plan is to slowly encroach upon and destroy their habitat...in the arena.

Most primates will be challenged to a game of chicken-fighting. In elementary school, this meant two people hanging from the monkey bars and kicking at the each other until someone fell. Pound-for-pound, most of the damn dirty apes are stronger, faster, and bitey-er than me but I have hella longer legs. Advantage=Guillermo. [Update: Why didn't anyone tell me about the Zimbabwean Long-Legged Kicking Gibbon?!]

I have yet to form a comprehensive strategy for defeating the Cetaceans, but I am contemplating winning over their hearts and minds and setting up a framework. Definitely gonna set up a framework.

So in answer to your question, I am giving my future plenty of thought.