So here I am on a lovely Thursday evening. I've spent an invigorating amount of time overhauling, then tweaking, and polishing my blog until it finally looks like this. At least, I hope it looks like this.

I feel refreshed just looking at it.

I've been listening to National Public Radio [note to self: add to links] following the elections as closely as I can with my limited understanding of the American political system. Well, not terribly limited. I have spent my entire life under it. Wait, maybe that's why I don't understand it.

I'm a bit jaded right now. It seems to be all "lesser of two evils" business and finding that juncture in a candidate where their ability to lie and their ability to perform are within a stone's throw of each other. (A very small stone that probably floats.)

I'm surrounded by lights. It's a quirk of mine. I enjoy multiple light sources. Unless I'm trying to sleep cause then ya best turn off that bug light or you're gonna be eating it.

I have a red bulb and a blue bulb and a black bulb that comes out more violet but it's still very mild to my eyes. I have a few white lights that are actually yellowish like very clean sand. I use them for getting up in the morning or delicate work.

By my side tonight is a bottle of wine made by a friend of mine. It's delightful, much better than most wines I've had. Incidently, it's also twice as alcoholic. A dangerous combination but not when you're just sitting at home on your computer on a Thursday night. C'mon, it's Thursday. What could possibly go wrong?

My feed site is now active since this template is designed to be fully compatible with Blogger. This pleases me although I only know of one person who actually accesses me via feed. I am fond of that person, and very sympathetic to whatever situation they're in that requires them to poke around my archives in which I whine about going to weddings and exotic islands with cartoon characters.

The bottle wine is canted snugly in a white plastic pitcher filled with ice. I recall drinking most of the first bottle out of a Justice League mug, but now it's all about the bottle. Why make Mollie do more dishes?



The above is one of my Halloween costumes. My awesome roommates (on the lease and otherwise) and I terrorized the Memorial Union at ASU, stacking on things and jostling countless students and faculty.

I haven't been able to track down any pictures of me in my full Tobias Funke costume for the party we had the weekend of Halloween, but here's one of me just after I blue myself.



If I had my druthers, I wouldn't post pictures of me in briefs (blue though they are) on the internet but this picture was taken by my roommate Marcus before I was in full costume (note the never-nude cut-offs in hand with the glasses and bushy mustache yet to come)but this picture is already all over Facebook so why should I worry? Once my peers have seen me in all my naked blue glory then what have I to fear from unsuspecting family, prospective employers, and governmental granters of educational subsidies?

Yeesh.

I also went as an indian.



I had little choice. My Tobias costume was composed mostly of allegedly non-toxic paint that nonetheless was never meant to be applied to human skin. I started having strange, irrational thoughts, and not the usual strange irrational thoughts I have when I'm drunk. These were much more...blue? It's hard to describe.

My distant relative Mary Alice was kind enough to hose me off in the backyard. I was subsequently violently ill a couple days later. Causal? That's still being debated.

I think I may have a picture of me in my authentic Indian loincloth...

I can't seem to find it. I can find pictures of the costume because I wore it to our unprecedently un-politically correct Cowboys and Indians party, but I just look like that shirtless guy at parties except for more primary color body paint. I'll ask around.

Work is going okay. I'm still pretty slow, but I am probably the strongest person there. Although, I met my match the other day. I was trying to move a box about the size of a piece of carry-on roller luggage, and I was barely able to move it. I later learned that it weighed 297 pounds. Fair enough, I thought. I seldom try to lift anything more than 120% more than my body weight. (I weigh about 195, for any future algebraic purposes.)

But I am worried. My joints are still not up to par. My mother has pretty bad osteoarthritis (on account of she worked probably every day her entire life) and perhaps I am predisposed to it. If so, it is inevitable that my tissues will start to deteriorate and my body begin to consume itself but I'd still like to put that off as long as possible if I can. Unless it means picking up or quitting smoking because I refuse to do either.

I thought I was strong, and I guess I still am. But it isn't the big things that have been getting to me. It's little things like holding my phone up to my ear to talk to my little brother and finding my wrists aching after 8 minutes (I've timed it.) It's bowling two decent games and then waking up later that night to grinding pains in my elbow.

This is a new experience for me. I've never considered myself tough. Pain was something that my self-imposed attention deficit disorder took very little time to notice. And now, just now that I am trying to think of that two-dimensional concept known as the future I begin to notice these things.

Will I still be able to do this tomorrow?

My father taught me a bit about cars and I often fall back to this analogy: You can run a car with no motor oil and get a pretty good ways, but when it quits son it is going to quit.

I've put another bottle of wine in the icebox. It's the blackberry merlot. I'm quite looking forward to it. Myes, quite.

I had a thought earlier. It flirted with me for a moment then left when I turned to order it a drink. Now I'm stuck here with an empty head and two drinks in my hand. Hm, sounds rather like a country song.

"Two two two drinks in mah hand
One one one,
god that rules this land"

That'll be enough of that, thank you.

I fear that I'll begin making much less sense from here on out. Ah well, that's never stopped me before. And now your topics. I'm taking suggestions right now; you can ask me anything.

[from an earlier conversation]
but if I've learned anything from biology it's that you need to be careful of getting too comfortable.