In response to Jaclyn, Kelly R. is twenty-one years old and I work with her at the pet store.

Also, my closet is where I sleep. I know this does not necessarily preclude it from also being a trap of some kind, but my history with that sort of thing is not good. Ask my mother; she still has pictures of the time I was trying to catch a pigeon with some string, a stick, and a cardboard box. It took me three hours to chew my way out from under that box. I was the laughingstock of the local birds and aviary circles for years.

Years.