My deodorant is Old Spice "Red Zone" Invisible Solid. The scent is "After Hours". The label leads me to believe that I will "SMELL GREAT! All Day All Night". I believe also that using it will make me invisible.

Later that night at the local brewery...

Night Watchman #1: This is very alarming. I smell someone that SMELLS GREAT and yet I see no one.

Night Watchman #2: That is not entirely true, Watchman #1. I agree that there is someone very near that SMELLS GREAT. However, I am standing near to you, well within your line of sight.

Night Watchman #1: You are the one in error. My statement remains true because I am blind.

Night Watchman #2: I apologize for my erroneous statement. You will understand why I made it when I reveal to you that I, too, am blind.

Invisible Great-Smelling Guillermo: What the hell is the point of being invisible if everyone is friggin' blind?!

Night Watchmen: We shall fire our weapons towards the GREAT SMELL.

Invisible Great-Smelling and Soon To Be Mortally Wounded Guillermo: Damn you, Old Spice!

Night Watchman #1: How did he know my name?


Now that that's out of my system...

I have returned from my swimming class and showered. I am sitting at my desk in my room with a fluffy, maroon towel wrapped around my waist. My short story is due in 24 hours. I cannot leave this desk until my story is complete. I will not eat, I will not sleep, I will not put on pants, I will not use the baffroom. I have 300 ml of water to sustain me until my story is done.

When I return, I shall present to you The Story of Jerald.


Er, I have decided that I can use the baffroom.