It's like I'm fond of saying: If you can't trust random internet quizzes, what can you trust?


You should be dating a Leo.
23 July - 22 August
This mate is honest and loyal, with a sunny
disposition. Though this lion has the tendency
to be arrogant, sulky or smug, she is
unrestrained in bed.


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla

Don't worry, stoned-out-of-your-mind Lioness, the power of my love shall rescue you from your prison of daisies.

I find it difficult to believe that that is the best picture of a lion this person could find. It looks completely blazed or drunk or about to collapse from heat exhaustion. The latter seems to be the most likely, since it is surrounded by not one, but two suns.

And if you take this quiz and it recommends a Taurus, the part that says "always enjoys a good roll in the hay." is also accurate. Honestly, how do they get these things so right-on?

Wait a minute...they all say something about sex to that extent. I'm starting to notice a a pattern here. That's it! People like sex!

* * * * * *

"Instead of ignoring a problem, try to reduce it."
-Rudy Giuliani.

I'm new at "not ignoring problems" but I think I'm starting to see what he means...

* * * * * *

One of my favorite books is To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. I didn't like it much at first, mostly on the principles I held about enjoying any assignment I was given in the seventh grade. But I still read it over and over in class, usually because I didn't want to work on whatever we were supposed to be working on. I still have chunks of that book stuck in my head.

And I am still getting all the humor in that book.

I was leafing through the dictionary trying to find the proper spelling of "hors d'oeuvre." For what reason is no longer known to me. As a rule, I try to stay away from French spellings. I looked in the Foreign Words and Phrases section at the back of my dictionary and immediately got hopelessly side-tracked. (I'm certain I ended up just calling the fancy little snacks "freedom morsels.")

But right away I came across �Ad Astra Per Aspera,� Latin for �To the stars through difficulty�. You JayHawkers out there may recognize this as the state motto of Kansas.

To Kill A Mockingbird takes place in Kansas.

(See how it's all coming together?)

In one part of the book, Scout is in a pageant put on by their school and her teacher opens it up with a short speech in which she translates "Ad Astra Per Aspera" as "From the mud to the stars."

Immediately after reading that entry and making that connection, I joined the elite group of people who have found themselves laughing uncontrollably over something they read in the dictionary.

Well, "hors d'oeuvre" is funny, but not Ha-Ha funny.

But that's why I like that book. The more I learn, the better it gets. Like "The Far Side" comics by Gary Larson. There are still a couple out there I know I don't have the understanding of chemistry, biology, or physics to fully appreciate.

* * * * *

I was at work today. It wasn't bad. My cubicle buddies were all nineteen years old. One of them, a girl named Kelly, asked me how old I was. "21," I answered. Then there was this odd silence.

"So, how is that?" Kelly asked at last.

"Oh, it was pretty bad for a while," I said. "But it's been getting a lot better."