Sociology 101

I hadn't accomplished much this morning, but between the hours of 2 and 3 pm I managed to experience a fair chunk of life.

I pulled out of my neighborhood onto University where my progress was abruptly stopped by one of those "stop lights." Stop lights, such a negative name. Hereafter I shall refer to them as "go lights." So I'm waiting for the go light to assure me safe passage through the intersection when in my rearview mirror I see a car rapidly approaching. I remember thinking, "I don't think he's going to stop." And the driver didn't dissapoint me. He shot through the intersection, swerved to avoid another car, lost control, and then plowed into a minivan waiting to make a left-hand turn.

Then the light turned green.

I was behind another car, and we both crept slowly forward, very unsure of what to do. There wasn't much time to decide, however, as the light-runner threw the car in reverse and tried to make a quick escape. The car continued down University, and was quickly pursued by a couple of other cars who had witnessed what had happened. The car then turned down another side street to try to get away from its pursuers. Another car and I raced ahead to the next street to cut off any possible escape routes. The car had turned into an alley which was then blocked off on both sides by our impromptu posse. The police were being called, and the driver appeared to be giving up. I couldn't really see, but it looked like the car had crashed into something else in the alley. At that point I decided that things looked under control and that I had best be on my way. If I had a hat I certainly would have tipped it to all the people who wouldn't just let it be someone else's problem.

The whole experience was surprising. I suppose our old hunter instincts are still alive and strong. The coordination of everyone's actions was impressive. From the initial chase to the splitting up to box the villain in was beautifully executed, and without a bit of actual communication. It was simply a group being aware of a goal and deciding the best course of action they could possibly take all the while considering what the other members were doing and responding. It was sweet.

So I was pondering this as I made my way to Mountain Pointe, my old high school, to get my transcripts sent to ASU. Classes were just getting out, and as I was walking by the old Theatre hallway I hear "Guillermo!" Tim had seen me walking by and had decided to do something about it. I just called it the old theater hallway, but it is as young and vibrant as it ever was. Walking in there that moment brought incredible nostalgia and and immense pride as I beheld an immensely talented group of people, some friends that I had worked with on shows before, but most strangers that I knew only through seeing the musical "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" that they had just performed. I still have trouble being on this side of the curtain. At the same time, to see such growth and evolution in both the people and their performances is very encouraging. It is a seething, wriggling mass of skilled people having a great time. Envy, yes, that's also what I felt. It's almost surreal walking in there. It is like the feeling I get watching Beth Froehlich perform Shakespeare for our Advanced Acting and Directing class, or from helping Eric Piatkowski run his lines in my apartment. It is the feeling that you know someday you are going to be telling a rapt listener, "Oh yes, I was there." It is a good feeling. And walking into that hallway today was like being hit with a big, gooey sledgehammer of that feeling. Like I said, it is a good feeling.

Then D.C. asked if bunnies masturbate and that pretty much killed the magic of the moment. Which I've been thinking about...

Q. Do bunnies masturbate?
A. Yes, That would explain the high demand for eyesight-improving carrots.

Q. Do bunnies masturbate?
A. No, as a revered pagan symbol for reproduction, doing so would be akin to someone from Wisconsin buying a can of Cheez Whiz. It just ain't representin'.

Q. Do bunnies masturbate?
A. Of course, there are three other seasons they have to sit through to get to the mating one.

Q. Do bunnies masturbate?
A. Not technically. They actually get off by twitching their noses.

Q. Do bunnies masturbate?
A. Their eyes are all red and they startle at the sound of a door opening. Sound like anyone you know?

Q. Do bunnies masturbate?
A. Take away their bunny porn and watch how cuddly they get.

I can't believe I just spent my time on this. Well, I don't hear answers out of you! Someone has to tackle the tough questions in life.

And then Brian had to show me why bunnies don't need to masturbate...