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My sister gave birth to her twins around eight o'clock last night. Boys, they is, and they go by the names of Joshua Remy and Ender...something. I forget Ender's middle name.

Being the literary family that we are, my sister named her kids after books. The most obvious is Ender from the book Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. Joshua Remy is named after a character in the Bible and Gambit from the X-Men comic books.

They're pretty big for twins.

In other news, I now work in the reptile department at the pet shop and I am seizing every opportunity I can to be bitten by new animals. Mostly baby snakes have been biting me, but I'm pretty sure the Giant African Millipede nipped at me.

I feel odd when feeding the baby snakes. They eat baby mice, which are very similar to the pet mice and rats and other rodents I used to help people care for as pets. It's not a very good idea to feed live mice and rats to snakes because they can still bite and sometimes injure the snake. So it's my job to kill the mice.

It's not that I have any moral objection to killing baby mice. After all, it's them or me. A snake has got to eat. I know that if those mice were given the chance they would kill me and everyone I love. But I just don't like doing it.
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Horse-play, romping, frequent and loud fits of laughter, jokes, and indiscriminate familiarity, will sink both merit and knowledge into a degree of contempt. They compose at most a merry fellow; and a merry fellow was never yet a respectable man.
-Lord Chesterfield.

I heard the new single by Live on the radio as I was driving home today. I instinctivly rolled down the window as I felt the gorge rising in my throat. I managed to change the station before Ed Kowalzcyk could assault my brain with another chorus of "Dah-dah-da-da-dah."

The only prescription after the sugary bile drips out of my radio and rapes my ears is to listen to the 2 and 1/2 good Live albums at volumes loud enough to destroy the nerves in my ears that have been thus violated. It's like musical chemotherapy.

In this case, the aural bonesaw I chose was White, Discussion. A great song, nay, sonic journey that is just as relevant today as it was when it came out in nineteen schmifty-six. I am feeling better now.

But not much better. I've been reducing my consumption of meat for some reason and today I indulged in some hot dogs for breakfast. The effects have been reminiscent of a person who abstains from drinking for a month and then on impulse drinks a few shots of bottom-shelf vodka out of an ashtray. Unpleasant for all involved. Especially the vodka.

Kermit the Frog You scored 39% Organization, 63% abstract, and 67% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables. First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean. Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type. Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself. You are mostly organized, both concrete and abstract, and more extroverted. Here is why are you Kermit the Frog. You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though. Kermit is also reasonably tidy. He'll even dress up for interviews. You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Kermit spends a lot of his time as a reporter collecting facts, but he is also the author of the dreamy song "The Rainbow Connection." You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course. You are both extroverts. Kermit gets along with everyone. Sure a few folks annoy him, but that's just because they are annoying. Kermit likes to meet new people when he does his job as a street reporter. You definitely enjoy the company of others, and you don't have problems meeting new people... in fact you probably look forward to it. You are willing to take charge when necessary or work as part of a team. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Kermit starred on Sesame Street years before The Muppet Show. The other possible characters are Oscar the Grouch Big Bird Snuffleupagus Ernie Elmo Cookie Monster Grover The Count Guy Smiley Bert If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also if you want to tell me your favorite Sesame Street character, I can total them up and post them here. Perhaps your choice will win!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 13% on Organization You scored higher than 85% on concrete-abstra You scored higher than 65% on intro-extrovert

Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test written by greencowsgomoo on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

I've taped a scrap of paper on my desk above my laptop. It says "Say something. Now is good. Before would have been better, but before is over. So now is good."

It's a paraphrasing from the show 12 Oz. Mouse.

Maybe that'll help.

Yeesh.

Evolution teaches us that the second most important goal in the existence of a living thing is to reproduce. In humans, birth is an experience that becomes lost in the first ripples of memory. To forget such miracles seems to be the hallmark of the species. But there are other epiphanies. When one realizes that they are actually one of many. When each day makes the world larger and larger. Growth. Change.

I find myself teetering on the brink of another epiphany, on the verge of the answer to another question. What changes when a human being shifts from survivor to creator? From spectator of life to biological architect. What prompted evolution, that blind deity of life, to suddenly bestow upon me the power to create order from chaos?

Today I felt the weight of life settle comfortably upon my shoulders, as if it had always been there, as constant as gravity and as reassuring as the warmth of the sun.

Today I learned that I am a mother.

A couple of weeks ago I had helped a woman and her son pick out a hamster at ye olde pet shop. They had never had a hamster before so I spent a fair amount of time helping them find everything their new pet would need to be happy (I assume hamsters can be happy because I know they can be pissed off.) The hamster the family picked was a male and the little boy named it after me. I felt honored as I waved goodbye as they walked home with their new hamster.

Today I learned that Guillermo the hamster has given birth to 6 healthy baby hamsters. Yes, I had incorrectly identified the hamster as male when it was really a female, and a knocked-up one.

To be fair, it is very difficult to figure out the sex of a dwarf hamster. I'm not even sure how they tell each other apart. I figure hamster courtship is equal parts perseverance, hamster booze, and luck.

So Guillermo the hamster is now Guillermina the hamster. And the majestic biological ballet goes on.

I don't dislike country music. I'm a huge fan of the banjo, the steel guitar, and I loves me some harmonica. As I was driving home from work last night I realized exactly what kind of country music I don't like; songs that sound like they've been written by some schmoe driving home from work while staring at his dashboard. Songs that sound a-like so:

Check coolant,
Low fuel,
Service engine soon

Doin 75 and my temp is rising
Gas is in the red and the miles keep piling on me

First my tires now my head is balding
I've never stopped rolling so why'm I mossing?
Feel like the devil chewed me up and now he's flossing
Can't get off the tracks of this railroad crossing

Check coolant,
Low fuel,
Service engine soon