Evolution teaches us that the second most important goal in the existence of a living thing is to reproduce. In humans, birth is an experience that becomes lost in the first ripples of memory. To forget such miracles seems to be the hallmark of the species. But there are other epiphanies. When one realizes that they are actually one of many. When each day makes the world larger and larger. Growth. Change.

I find myself teetering on the brink of another epiphany, on the verge of the answer to another question. What changes when a human being shifts from survivor to creator? From spectator of life to biological architect. What prompted evolution, that blind deity of life, to suddenly bestow upon me the power to create order from chaos?

Today I felt the weight of life settle comfortably upon my shoulders, as if it had always been there, as constant as gravity and as reassuring as the warmth of the sun.

Today I learned that I am a mother.

A couple of weeks ago I had helped a woman and her son pick out a hamster at ye olde pet shop. They had never had a hamster before so I spent a fair amount of time helping them find everything their new pet would need to be happy (I assume hamsters can be happy because I know they can be pissed off.) The hamster the family picked was a male and the little boy named it after me. I felt honored as I waved goodbye as they walked home with their new hamster.

Today I learned that Guillermo the hamster has given birth to 6 healthy baby hamsters. Yes, I had incorrectly identified the hamster as male when it was really a female, and a knocked-up one.

To be fair, it is very difficult to figure out the sex of a dwarf hamster. I'm not even sure how they tell each other apart. I figure hamster courtship is equal parts perseverance, hamster booze, and luck.

So Guillermo the hamster is now Guillermina the hamster. And the majestic biological ballet goes on.

I don't dislike country music. I'm a huge fan of the banjo, the steel guitar, and I loves me some harmonica. As I was driving home from work last night I realized exactly what kind of country music I don't like; songs that sound like they've been written by some schmoe driving home from work while staring at his dashboard. Songs that sound a-like so:

Check coolant,
Low fuel,
Service engine soon

Doin 75 and my temp is rising
Gas is in the red and the miles keep piling on me

First my tires now my head is balding
I've never stopped rolling so why'm I mossing?
Feel like the devil chewed me up and now he's flossing
Can't get off the tracks of this railroad crossing

Check coolant,
Low fuel,
Service engine soon

There is a mythical beast called a lah-dor. From afar the creature would appear to be a stocky, medium-sized dog a bit on the fluffy side. It does not have a head, but an almost human face is set in the middle of its back so that it is always facing the sky. No one is sure how or what the beast eats but all agree that it is probably quite messy.

The lah-dor has short, thick legs each with an almost human foot pointing outward. With this odd pedal arrangement, it is difficult to know if the lah-dor is walking towards something or just backing away from something else. Since the lah-dor's vision is extremely limited by its celestial orientation, it is very possible that the lah-dor doesn't know either.

There have been reports of people befriending a lah-dor, but all have said that it was a difficult one because they weren't sure that the lah-dor necessarily enjoyed their particular company or merely disliked the company of everyone else. Also, the lah-dor will not sleep if there is anyone else nearby. Whether this is a trust issue or a lah-dor simply does not sleep at all is not known. The latter is unlikely, since a large part of the lah-dor's behavior and temperament is consistent with that of someone who has just been woken up. Also, for all intents and purposes, lah-dor do not talk.

There have been no reports of friendships with a lah-dor lasting more than a year.

The lah-dor enjoys the warmth of day but is almost exclusively active at night because it has no way to shield its eyes from the piercing rays of the sun. There are diurnal lah-dor but they only occur in heavily wooded areas. They come in two colors; a greyish-brown or a brownish-grey.

The lah-dor are believed to be severely small in number or even extinct. Breeding programs were abandoned because lah-dor fail to thrive in captivity. Although, to be absolutely fair, the lah-dor doesn't seem to do all that great out of captivity either.

More information on the lah-dor can be found at any local library that does not exist.

Or you can just ask me about it and I'd be happy to lie to you some more.

Mollie: "Life is strange."

Guillermo: "It's the strangest thing I know."

Things are looking up. My friend Gabe has repaired my laptop and this badboy is now fully functional. Or, as functional as it was just before it stopped working entirely. Still no sound or video capability, but that's just as well because I would log on to Youtube and never be seen again.

I've set up my room to utilize my writing desk. I'm hoping to create the proper environment so that I can roll out of bed all pantsless and hack out whatever's on my mind. I mean, that's the whole idea, right?

The animated musical of Charlotte's Web is playing behind me. Templeton and the goose just got done singing about the joys of the fair. It was amazing.

I must go to work in about an hour. I think I may leave the pet store soon. I've enjoyed my time there but my iron will is starting to bend. I adopted an older ferret, ended up keeping a couple of the hamsters, and gave Brian a couple of rats for his birthday. Including the previous ferret and the leopard gecko, we now have seven pets. I named the new ferret Lendri and the rats are named The Notorious R.A.T. and Rattie Smalls.

In other news, I've discovered Google News. I use it all the time, but I just learned that I can personalize it. Now, my news page comes up with news on War, Energy, Evolutionary Theory, Nanotechnology, Biology, AZ Government, Evolutionary Psychology, Literature, and Science Fiction.

Mwahahaha.

Google news is great because it links to several articles about the same topic. It's interesting to compare the biases and writing styles of different new sources. The only way to read news provided you have the time.

I can't quite run yet. My knees haven't hurt at all for a couple of days, but I'm still trying to be careful. Everyone keeps warning me about "permament damage." I don't think the term is entirely accurate. It will probably only hurt until I die.

I'm eager to run a marathon that isn't full of hills and valleys sculpted in the devil's sandbox. Let me at that level ground and you'll see what kind of damage I can do.

I'm recovering nicely from the marathon. I can't quite run yet, but I can walk easily and negotiate stairs without too much trouble. The last marathon I ran had me hobbling around for a week and I wasn't able to run without pain for a few months. Perhaps there is something to be said for "preparation" and "training."

I was dissappointed with my time of five hours and 50 minutes. It was even longer than my last marathon time. Further reviewal of the results showed that the best time was 3 hours and 17 minutes. This is about an hour longer than the insane pro marathon runners completed the Rock and Roll Marathon. From this I induce that this race is more difficult even for experienced runners. Also, it said as much on the pamphlet given to me before the race.

Here is a picture of me in pain at the finish line. I didn't wear the pirate hat because it would have been too hot but instead I wore a necklace made of twine, jangly copper washers, and a ceramic skull.

The necklace snapped a quarter mile into the race and I carried the skull in my hand the rest of the way.

Beno did not wear a pirate hat or wear a pirate necklace but we both had pirate flags that we pinned onto our backs. I'll put those pictures up as soon as my roommate pays the internet bill.

In Ever-Closer-To-Shuffling-Off-This-Mortal-Coil News:

My birthday is this Friday. I will be 24 years old, which is the perfect age for something but I forget what. My family has asked what I would like for a present. Since my little brother Luis reads my blog, I figured I would just list it here. This years theme will be stuff I used to love but sorta forgot about:

1. Pearl Jam's new album.
2. Tool's new album.
3. Science (in green.)
4. Edward Scissorhands (I've had two copies but I keep loaning them out and never getting them back. That's what I get for sharing das love.)
5. Impact Suit.


Getting any of these items would make me incredibly happy, as depicted here by this hastily crafted artist's rendition:



Now if you'll excuse me, I have a paper to write.

We're back. We're alive. We finished the race in 5:50.

There were chicken wings at the finish line. Well worth it.