Carouse

I was not prepared for the loss of you. It's been 48 hours without your voice in my head. I'm happy you're on vacation and I'm also not happy without you. 

Fearful also, maybe. That a few days without me will feel like you're free of the shackles of my attention. 

Not that I don't think you love me. You do. It's the difficulty of the thing. The hyper-vigilance and the distance and needing your touch. 

I suppose we're both familiar with these things. It still feels different now. 

Before, I think, we didn't have clear boundaries. There was a lot of me hiding my feelings for you. It's a cruelty I've regretted.