20/20 Vision

 My eyes have been burning for days. At first I thought it was allergies. But they weren't red, and my nose wasn't running like it usually does when the pollen is high. I thought it was my contact lenses; sometimes bacteria can grow on them and irritate the cornea. I took them out for a couple of days and wore my glasses.

The pain still got worse and I started growing horribly sensitive to sunlight. My vision through my glasses started getting blurrier. I panicked then, and rushed to my optometrist. They checked my vision, left the room and spoke in hushed tones with all the techs, and then came back in and redid all my eye tests. 

I'd been near-sighted my entire life. But now, the doctor told me, my vision was perfect. 

They didn't understand it. They also couldn't see any reason why my eyes felt like they were burning.  Or why I was so sensitive to sunlight but not other sources of light. They noted that my pupils were dilated more than normal, but when they shone that penlight in my eyes, my pupils did not contract like normal. That light didn't hurt, or bother me at all.   

The eye doctor finally admitted they couldn't see anything was actually wrong with my eyes, and not-so-subtly suggested it may be psychosomatic. My life was good, I told them, my back hurt sometimes and my blood pressure is a little bit high but otherwise I am healthy and my life is normal. There's no reason I would make this up. The doctor assured me they never said I was making it up; just that if it was physical it would have to be something completely unknown to eye science. At this point I gave up arguing and just glared. Finally, they gave me a pair of blocky sunglasses they normally give to people who have had their pupils dilated, gave me a free sample of soothing eyedrops, and sent me on my way.

It was odd leaving an eye doctor without a new prescription. Since I was a kid, at my annual checkups, my eyes had always gotten a little worse each year. So what changed?

This morning, it happened. I learned I can see the worst thing a person has ever done. I was in the office, 15 minutes early, getting my morning coffee, when I said good morning to Heidi and my mind's eye was flooded with...something.

It's hard to describe. It's like I'm imagining their memory? Or I'm in their memory; but not as me. I'm not a bystander stepping into a movie. I remember it, as them. The very first time I see someone new, it happens involuntarily. It's hard to go out into busy places. But after I've seen it once, I don't see it again unless I really focus.

The other surprising thing for me has been that, for the vast, vast, VAST majority of people, it really isn't that bad. Mostly they've hurt the feelings of someone they love by being neglectful, or selfish, or angry. Sometimes somebody got hurt physically, or worse, but it was usually an accident. But their memories are still steeped in regret; a desire to change for the better.

Then there are the others. People who want something so badly they'll destroy anyone that gets in their way. They have no regrets. I hold on to their faces, to their memories. In their worst moments, I know everything they know, and it's enough that I can find them again, if I decide too. I know that I can make sure they never hurt anyone again.

I also know, somehow, that if I do, the never-ending burning in my eyes will stop, at least for a while. 

It's gotten so bad I can't even sleep.

And the final surprise: Not only has my vision become perfect in the day (except for my aversion to sunlight,) my vision in total darkness? I can see perfectly. 

I can't take much more of this. It's late, really late, and I need to sleep, and it hurts so much. Maybe I'll go for a walk. Clear my head. 

There's no moon tonight. Who knows who I might run into?

THE END

AUTHOR'S NOTE: My eyes hurt, and I've been extremely sensitive to sunlight. I'm pretty sure it's definitely allergies. Although, fun fact, my pupils are a larger than average. It's not really a good thing; because your pupils should be the exact right size for the amount of light you're in. So when they're larger than average, you (that is, me) are more sensitive to light and have slightly worse vision overall. Now I need to get some actual sleep. Goodnight, and I love you all.

1st draft: 10/24/23, 2307