Ah, it's that wonderful time of year for employees and employers everywhere: Annual Reviews.

Smiling at each other with bared teeth while shoving piles of BS back and forth. Long-simmering rage sublimates into passive-voice aggression. There is much copying-and-pasting of last year's review because nothing has changed except the ever-higher expectations and the ever-increasing workload.

It's not a good time to point out the myriad new processes that have been implemented, many of which directly contradict the others. These reviews are linked to pay increases, naturally, and it's super important that the employer/investors feel like all their attempts to improve the employee are worth it.

Under no circumstances must the employee let on that they are doing the same thing they've always done. The employer MUST believe that what they do makes a difference.

The true function of the process, of course, is to provide the cheapest relief to a symptom without having to resort to curing the disease. Cures are expensive, bandages are cheap, and offices are kept cold because everyone is wrapped up like mummies.

Time to dress up, put on the old dancing shoes, and do the Right-To-Work State Shuffle. Don't let the name fool you; it's mostly a two-step, with a lot of bending over.