I've taken up the violin again. My dear friend Jenna is loaning me hers and I've been hard at work to get back to my former proficiency. Last night I finally achieved it. Now, if someone were to observe me playing from a great distance, or perhaps through a very thick window that blocked the transmission of sound, that person might think "Hey, that guy's playing a violin."

But that person would be wrong. I knew how to play the violin many years ago, but I never knew how to play it well. However, I can sure as hell look like I'm playing the violin. Even the most elaborate compositions were no match for my musical pantomimicry. Yet I was still stuck as a third chair violin. Indeed, had there been a fourth chair, a fifth chair, or perhaps a small grass hut just outside of the concert hall I'm certain the conductor would have put me in it. I realize now the fatal error in my fake musical skill. I wonder to this day how long it took before my conductor noticed that I never turned the pages of my sheet music. Not too long, I'll bet. Probably not too long at all.