"So how is it?"


"How's what?"


"What do you think? Being a Neutral Good. How is it?"


"It's all right, I guess."


"Hey, that's cool. Here, I got you this road sign."


"Thank you, but I don't own a road."


"Pssh. And you never will; not with that attitude."



NOW IT'S TIME FOR...

Foreign Holidays of Little-Known-nes!

Tomorrow is the 6th of January, Three King's Day. In Mexico, gifts are given on this day in emulation of the three kings that visited baby Jesus. Besides the difference in date, there is another notable discrepancy: The number of gifts is often limited to three.


Mexican parents justify this to their children by telling them that kings are too lazy to carry more than one gift. Another popular rationalization is that kings only have one hand free for gift-carrying because the other hand is busy oppressing peasants.


It is also common for the number of combined gifts to total less than three. In the event the child is foolish enough to cite the historical precedent of three gifts, the child will be scolded for equating themselves to baby Jesus, told that in any case Jesus probably kept his room clean, and to go clean up the kitchen.


If the child is particularly foolish and points out to his parents that they did, in fact, name him Jesus, (pronounced 'hay-soos' in Mehico) the boy will promptly be visited by the three kings of "Ain't-No-Child-Protective-Services-In-This-Country-Smart-Guy."


And that is why so many native Mexicans risk their lives to come to this great country of ours where there is no cap on present-giving and smart-ass children are treasured and revered.


I'm pretty sure that's why I'm here.