How To Thwart Nature # 1: Put a belled collar on a cat.

Millions of years of painstaking evolution have resulted in one of the stealthiest creatures in existence: The cat. Then it's all undone by $2.95 and a stop at Petco.

I've been thinking about going on a cruise for spring break. My ex-fiance works on a cruise line and I can go for free. I have to haul my lazy carcass down to Florida myself, but I can't complain about that.

After discussing it quite a bit with my level-headed friend Alyx, I am beginning to have my doubts. Actually, almost everyone I've talked to has expressed some concern, usually for my mental state. Mostly the ones that knew us when we were together. Woo, to bad they didn't have Blog back then! The binge-drinking, window-leaping, walking all night with no destination, hours of furious scribbling in my journals, hand-burning, sword-slashing, blacking out, backhandings received, emotions twisted, manipulations, lines being drawn between old friends, one night stands (1), and more. Not much more, but a fair bit. We certainly were never bored when we were together.

Perhaps this free cruise may come at too high a cost. By that, I mean the plane ticket, of course. That would be the perfect excuse to not go.

But I really think I could have a good time. All that was well over a year ago, which is a lifetime to those who are young and foolish. And it is a free cruise. Although, the road to hell is paved with free cruises, I hear.

I'm going to put on some Radiohead and think about it some more. The Bends, I think. Yes, that will do nicely.