Not feeling great today. Maybe stayed up a little too late. Also Marceline L. Dog kept trying to wake me up to go outside.

Maybe I'll just try to work really hard to take my mind off my mind. That used to work.

Throw on some New Orleans R&B Jazz-funk and groove along as if everything's all right, because it kind of is.

This is what I look like. Just a reminder in case I forget. 

Daily walking is going well. I don't think I've missed a day in almost a month. Started lifting a bit also. Exercise used to be very helpful in regulating my mood. We'll see.

My mission to not buy so much on Amazon is going well. I bought some glasses online and the site used my Amazon account to charge me, but that doesn't count.

Speaking of glasses, it appears I am developing a slight astigmatism. Eyes, I never trusted you anyway, but now I trust you even less.

Some days you're in a stone groove and then Sufjan Stevens "Fourth of July" plays on your headphones and just wrecks you.

Not in a bad way. It's painful, but not bad. It reminds me that I have people I love and that I could be better about it.

It would be a very good use of resources. I can tie in things that I already love. Let's see: food, video games, animals, jive-talking, sass-mouthing, tradition-defying, waxing poetic, and drinking in tiki bars.

Dang that is a pretty good list.

A powerful monsoon storm tore through Phoenix yesterday. Driving rain, hail the size of marbles, and winds that felled trees. I was driving home and many people had pulled over entirely. Halfway home, I recognized that I loved this. Riding through the storm. Maneuvering my little car through uncertainty. Being a little afraid.

Didn't love it enough to wish I was on a motorcycle.

Monsoon refers to seasonal winds. We get dust storms as well. Yesterday we had a large dust storm, and today it washes away.

I have a hankering to go to Nantucket. Not the Nantucket of today, but I hear that's nice too. That would be a good little goal. Go to Nantucket and mope on the beaches. Must remember to go during the off-season. Pretend I'm a disillusioned youth weary of life on land, seeking work on the sea.

Reading Moby Dick again. I wonder who would make a good Ishmael in a film adaptation. A young John Cleese would be amazing.

Have I thought this before? Probably. Ishmael was a schoolteacher, Cleese was a schoolteacher. I imagine they'd have had similar thoughts; if authority can be bestowed upon someone like me, then I cannot maintain a high opinion of authority.

And so it goes. The rulers care for certain things and think of only the things they care about. Like a myopic cyclops. No depth perception.

I have a couple days off this week. Thursday and Friday. Set an appointment to have my AC checked out on my car early in the morning, so I can't sleep in. Friday I don't know. Maybe I'll take the boys.

A couple of my shade sails came down. A reviewer on Amazon said theirs lasted 3 months. Sure enough, I bought mine in April. One failed last week, the other today.

It was a good experiment. There are more costly shade sails that appear much more durable. I'll invest in those. Eventually.

I'm a little sunburnt. Went over to Jay and Caro's yesterday and swam with the twins. It's a mild sunburn; the kind that I only notice when I rub my forehead in consternation.

I did not watch the fireworks.

I dreamed of hiking down a mountain. I hadn't climbed up, but we had to climb down. Perhaps I should pick up a pair of hiking boots, in case these dreams are prophetic.

More attempts to be more myself. The nephews came over to hang out. We went to the store, I cooked them some bratwurst. Went out to lunch with Ben O. Walked. Kelly and I saw a movie on Sunday. Regular human stuff.

Paid off a credit card. Must prepare for the inevitable recession. One down. Next is glasses, then fix windshield. Should be good after that for a while. Bought a couple of pairs of pants. Grey, so I can wear my black shirts. No need to shop for clothes for another six months at least.

I think I wanted to pick up some 60 pound weights. Patience. I could just lift the 50's more times.

I caught a few minutes of the World Cup match this morning. My mom was watching it. Mexico v. Brazil. She was excited.

My dad keeps asking what we're going to do on the 4th of July. He wants an excuse to drink. It has been a while since I've relaxed with a good beer. Maybe we can do breakfast steaks. Put out the kiddie pool for the dogs. I could use a tan. There's nothing wrong with snowy gams, but that's just not me.